I got my one day coin 3 days ago and I have 3 full days of sobriety. today was ths trippiest day because my I think I was withdrawing but im not sure… I was very dizzy and had blured vision. it felt like I was having a body trip… that made me relize how much damage I did to myself when I was drinking and using all of those 14 years. yesturday at AA I was thinking to myself am I really a addict alcoholic? I was thinking this because I didnt feel like I was fitting in with the AA group. its not their falt one bit snd I csn actually I love everyone whos at the meetings. then there was todays AA group where I thought to myself, thank god im at AA because today during the dizzy blurry episode I realized how much AA and NA is needed for myself. today started withme me dreaming of a drug that I ust to use before I woke up out of bed. thrn I had s thought that I wanted to smoke weed anc thd second I told myself im not goinv to use any kind of drug I got all dizzy and had blurred vision. i learned in AA that if you dont think you need a meeting you actually do need a meeting so I went to a meeting. during that meeting I was thinking to myself… wow. just wow … thats the best way I can explaine it. and I mean that in the most heart filled way. all those years I used… all that money I spent… just wow…
I feel better. im tsking it one day at a time or even one minute at a time. im not going to use or drink. thank god for that meeting