AA Book Discussion

This week we will be reading Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism.

You can find this online if you don’t have a physical book here:

Let’s chat about it. Please share what comes up for you in the reading or even within the reflections on the reading that we individually post. Talking about what we read is always very beneficial for me and my recovery personally.

Thank you all for sharing, for being of service and helping me stay sober today!

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Chapter 3 convinced me that I was a real alcoholic, but I needed to read it multiple times to grasp the gravity of this disease. My tricky addict brain actually had me believing that I could go back to drinking like a normie after a period of abstinence. I’d take breaks for months and even up to a year, but every single time I went back, I was worse off. I think I’m a fairly intelligent person, but not when it comes to this disease. I had to learn about the progression in the rooms of AA.

Drinking during business hours was on my “never” list. Not wanting to jeopardize my livelihood, I never drank at business meetings, lunches, or holiday parties. My flawless public façade masked my private despair. My employer never knew what I was doing on my personal time. I hid it well until I didn’t.

That “never” finally happened. I was having an extremely stressful day at the office and instead of turning to normal coping skills, I turned to alcohol. I went out to a local liquor store by myself at lunch, chugged a bottle of vodka in my car and attempted to drive back to the office. Needless to say, I didn’t make it back. I was only a few blocks away; my phone fell while taking a sharp curve and I reached to get it. All it took was that split second (probably longer due to my alcohol induced slow reaction) and I hit an electrical pole, totaling my car. Completely humiliated, I was hauled off to police headquarters. To make matters worse, the officer took my cell phone and called my boss. Ugh! There goes that proper employee who seemed to have her shit together. Anyway, my boss refused to take responsibility for my actions over the next 24 hours, so didn’t come to my rescue and my job was in jeopardy.

Thankfully, I didn’t kill anyone that day and it was a huge wake up call. My employer gave me an ultimatum; get help or sever our relationship. I almost chose alcohol over my livelihood. That’s the crazy alcoholic mind thinking right there. Ultimately, I did the right thing and chose help. Once in outpatient treatment, my toxic work environment became crystal clear, and I left that employer a month after my accident. My higher power did for me what I couldn’t do for myself with both alcohol (drugs too) and employment.

This may sound crazy, but I’m grateful for the events leading up to treatment. If that DUI didn’t happen, I would probably be homeless or dead by now. Instead, I’m excelling in a new career, living a happy, joyous, and free life. Don’t get me wrong, sobriety is not always rainbows and butterflies, but now I have the coping skills to face all of life’s challenges sober.

Apologies for going off topic with a condensed version of my story.

I did want to mention that the AA meetings I attend virtually include “more about alcoholism” in their readings. It’s the first 2 pages of chapter 3 and it’s read in place of “how it works”. Whoever volunteers to read has a choice between those two. At first, I always chose How it works because I know it well, but now I’m choosing more about alcoholism because I need that reminder.

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The first few pages of this chapter always hit me the hardest. Like, I just wanted to paste them in here, word for word.

This chapter really showed me that I could never go back. I am not, nor will I ever be, a “normal” drinker.

“We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones.”

“By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore non-alcholic”…“The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many persue it to the gates of insanity or to death.”

That was the exact road I was on. I too didn’t believe I was in the alcoholic class. And this is exactly what kept me sick for so long.

I read chapter 2 & said maybe I’m not…But this chapter 3 always shatters any illusion I may have had about not being an alcoholic.

I tried ALL of the things listed. All the charts and written rules of when and how I could drink-and I failed every single time. It was honestly E.X.H.A.U.S.T.I.N.G.

Accepting I am an alcoholic is actually freedom. There is no worrying. No trying to control it and failing. No wondering what I did the night before or where I went wrong. No wondering if I drove, if I ate, who I called or what I said, where I got that bruise from, if I’ll make it to work in the morning or if my breath will still smell like vodka or if I’ll have the shakes…No sir-ee, today I am free.

I experimented enough and tried alllllll the things
And still drank without my own permission. I don’t need to try any more “controlled” drinking. I did enough of that, and I failed. I can be honest with myself about this today. This chapter reminds me every single time that I can’t drink.

But in the grand scheme, I don’t need to think about forever. Today is the only day that truly matters. I just do whatever it takes to end my day sober today. And today, I have a HP and a program that helps me take the next right action to stay sober. I get to connect with other alcoholics who are doing the same. And I’m freaking GRATEFUL for this as well as the clarity this book has brought me.

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Hello my friends!

We are on chapter 4 of the Big Book this week, “We Agnostics”.

If you don’t have a big book or prefer to read it online, it can be found here:

I’d love to hear what comes up for you as you read it! :heart:

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Page 47 the simpler approach to sobriety. I practice spiritual principles i dont care what your beliefs are.

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In Chapter 4, I am ALL over these pages.

I HATED admitting I lacked power. But if my way worked, I would have been sober a loooong time before I was. I was absolutely living out of my own will and I was miserable. I was very much missing that connection with something greater than myself. Though I sure didn’t think so at the time.

I reallllly struggled with the word god at first. I thought AA would be better without all the god stuff…again I’m glad the program’s integrity always remained despite by early thoughts of how “I” could improve it lol.

I too used to think dependence on a power greater than myself was weak like it mentioned in the book. I didn’t get it, because I’d never experienced it. I had SO many prejudices against god and religion, I wasn’t open to it at all at first. I was actually completely repelled by it honestly. But I saw my way of doing things was clearly NOT working, and that’s when I became more open to it. That was a gift of desperation. It opened those doors of willingness.

I had to set aside my own limited beliefs and prejudices. To try what worked for so many others. That mustard seed of willingness opened the doors to change my life.

I love that this program gave me the freedom to have my own conception of god, as this helped me greatly. I’ve heard it said before that if you don’t like the God you’ve been introduced to before, fire him and create a new one.

My conception of God has changed over the years and continues to do so. I am willing to believe, and that belief has led me to many beautiful places with that conscious connection through prayer and meditation. I ask my HP daily to step in to my life while I try to stay out of the way to live the life asked of me to best help others.

I came into this program as an agnostic. But today I truly live my life for my HP instead and EVERYTHING in my life is a testament to that now. The life I’ve been given a new chance at is nothing like my old way of life and for that (and my HP) I’m forever grateful.

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Lovely share. I had to admit I did not know the meaning of agnostic until I learned the meaning in the rooms. I am so glad I have connected with God (my higher power) and do so throughout the day.

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Thanks for this thread! Looking to learn more Big Book but i read so much that i find it easier to read little chunks on here.

I really like this part not so much because IM athiest or agnostic, but i think this chapter will help me explain why I nedd AA to the many athiests in my life, most of whom are very prejudiced against religion (though some for very good, traumatic reasons.) To be able to explain that while they may not need or want God, i have basically effed up my life so badly that i DO. That i have to at least try God when millions and millions of people are telling me thats what will get my life back together. And if it doesnt work ok ill do SMART or “just not drink” but i have a pretty good feeling that its going to work :wink:

Thanks so much for the thread and reading my ramblings! 🩵 head on the pillow sober one more day

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While reading this chapter, the saying… “religion is for people who fear hell, spirituality is for people who have already been there” comes to mind. That’s certainly the case for me. I was living the life of hell in active addiction.

I was raised in a semi religious household and didn’t dear voice my agnostic/atheist beliefs. I even went as far as getting married and baptizing my daughter in a catholic church just to appease my parents and husband. I learned fake it till I make it early on.

When I came into the rooms of AA, hearing the word “God” was revolting. It took quite a few meetings to truly understand the meaning of a higher power. Thankfully, I stuck around long enough and listened to others’ experiences. Knowing there were others in that room like me was very comforting.

I went through some extremely tough stuff during the first 4 years of sobriety. Losing everything and starting over was not easy at all, but I relied on my higher power to come out the other side. Thinking back to that time, I remained calm throughout and that’s only because my higher power wrapped me like a warm blanket. What a difference spirituality has made to my sober life.

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I love hearing what others are sharing, keep it coming!!! Even if it’s on an older chapter, please comment away!!

This week is Chapter #5, “How It Works”.

If you don’t have a physical big book or would prefer to read it online, you can do so here:

Can’t wait to hear your insights! :heart:

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I’ve been MIA for a couple of chapters. I can’t wait to get to chapter 5 with my Plain Language Big Book study group, though. After a few weeks of schedule disruptions, we finally met for the second time last night to read the Doctor’s Opinion. This study guide (that is the stated purpose of the PLBB) provides opportunities for sharing in a new way. Maybe because the words are different but expressing the same ideas (so we listen harder), maybe because the language is more modern and less difficult for challenged readers (so we hear it), whatever it is, it is a beautiful thing to be in a semi-freezing room in a disused church in Northern Vermont in February with two other men sharing about our fear and hopelessness and how the program of AA brought us back from our individual brink of death. And “How It Works”, this could not be more in tune with my thinking tonight. This is exactly how AA works - two or three alcoholics sharing their experience, strength and hope. Between the three of us, we have over 170 years of living and 65 collective years of sobriety - and the conversation is as blunt, the feelings are as fresh as when we first stumbled into a meeting in such bone cracking pain. We wound up the session by expressing that this thing works when we mind our business, stick to what we know works, and seek help. AA is a haven for us, a guiding beacon for our lives, like a snug warm lighthouse on the shore of a storm tossed ocean.

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This chapter is one of my fav i go through with it with my guys,its read out at alot of meetings here in Scotland ,
Bit of history first AA meeting took place in Perth in 1948 6 people attended , in 1949 AA groups in Glasgow and Edinburgh registered with GSO in New York ,Bill and Lois toured Scotland in 1950 .
First meeting in Prisons was in Barlinnie the Bar L as said in Scotland in 1960 ive spoke at many top tables here in my recovery journey and other prisons here in Scotland , i feel this chapter is the gateway to a new way of life if we are willing to make the effort and have the desire to be successfully on our journey in recovery , i feel that talk the talk is ok but walk the walk is just as important passing the message and 12 step work meetings sponsorship is putting back what we got when we needed that help, some of these people who use social media to promote themselves prob havnt physically went out their way to help anyone just post slogans on Instagram looking for likes . met a guy last week at a meeting i was speaking at gave me a big hug hes doing well family man couple kids ,told me if you hadnt came that night to take me to my first meeting id be dead that was in 1990 , keep the faith

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just a thought

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Its here in chapter 5 i found my sobriety. I was convinced my life was filled with bad people to blame for my misfortune. I told my sponsor that i had take a second look at my inventory and determined that i had no part in my resentments. My sponsor cheerfully volunteered that he would show me my part in every resentment i had. That night i wrote my sponsor embarrassed me in front of my AA friends. Then we answered the second look questions. I was introduced to spiritual principles and could see how my life could change. My sponsor said in AA we take bad habits and change them into good habits. So i began to practice spiritual principles instead of selfish desires. Most of the principles i practice are found in our 12 traditions.

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There is SOOOOO much in this chapter, my mind is all over the place as there’s so much good stuff in here!! But, the inventory stands out the most to me tonight. Owning my shit, and there sure is enough of that left in there even still! Progress over perfection, as I’m sure not a saint just like it says.

I’m working on more inventory this week. Self-will and self sabatoge runs deep for me. There’s absolutely still some of that in there. My subconscious becomes conscious though when I look at my inventory. When I notice something is off (which I actually get to notice today) I now have tools to use, thanks to this program. But before that arrived in my life, I never looked at my own actions. I thought I had it allll together and everyone should just live like I think they should-life would be great for everyone! :rofl:

My twisted thinking had NO idea I was actually the director of the insanity my life was. I thought it was everything and everyone else. And I just demanded more of them. My troubles were 100% of my own making. I was playing God and I’m certainly NOT qualifed to do that successfully. Self-Reliance was absolutely not the answer for me, my life showed just how insane and messy it got when I lived that way.

But, it was revealed to me last night that I’ve been self-reliant a long time and some of those learned tendencies have brought me other unhealthy coping mechanisms I’ve been unaware of and precisely how they impact me. It’s fear and trying to keep myself safe, but it’s unhealthy and blocking me from what my higher power wants from me. So, the work continues. More will always be revealed.

I’m effing grateful I get to show up and do this today, all because of this book, these people and this program being handed down the line to me. And I get to share this with others too. This is how it works. Together. :heart:

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