Hi all,
Wondering if anyone knows what the difference between normal AA meetings and meetings that are specifically labelled ‘newcomers meeting’. Is there a different format? What constitutes a newcomer? How do the people in there differ to the ones that just go to the regular meetings?
Hi @Pamela All are welcome at an AA newcomers meeting but the topics are usually aimed at the first few chapters of the AA big book or readings from the living sober book .they are sometimes smaller meetings than others too . People will share their experience strength and hope with each other as in all meeting’s . People only share if they want to . All that’s required at an AA fellowship is a desire to stop drinking
From my experience those meetings focus on stepa 1-3. I have a good one local on Sundays that I go to every week. I have gone through all the steps but really like the people so I keep going back
Pamela, have you considered GOING to a newcomers meeting to see what happens there?
Why do you care about whether the people in there differ from what you call “normal AA meetings”?
Have you ever been to an AA meeting?
You ask questions that tell me you have never been to a meeting. If that is true, why not take a deep breath and attend a meeting? Did you know that you can call your local AA Intergroup Office and ask for someone to meet you at the meeting so you can go with them into the meeting? (ask for a female, not a male)?
I sense that you are very uncomfortable about attending AA meetings. It may at first feel uncomfortable. It does for everyone, trust me. I am a very outgoing personality and I felt uncomfortable. But I stuck around after the meetings, talked to people to get referrals from them for other meetings that I might want to attend, and that was almost 31 years ago, and I am still in recovery all these years and I still go to AA meetings.
Incidentally, Pamela, I WENT to what you apparently consider “non-normal” AA meetings, newcomer meetings, for the first four years of my recovery and I continue to attend those meetings occasionally, to help newcomers such as yourself, which around here are not the entire meeting but a sub meeting within a scheduled meeting. I got the help I needed as a newcomer in those meetings. I also have owned the 12x12 and I have three different editions of the Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (I bought the third edition and my 12x12 when I was in inpatient treatment), and I bring the latest to all my meetings. It helps if you can attend meetings that have those books to hand out if you don’t buy your own from the AA office or from a meeting that has some for sale. I would suggest you try to attend book study meetings so you can learn both the 12x12 and the text book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I have been to meetings before, first one was 8 years ago and been to a few on and off in periods of sobriety, but unfortunately didn’t stick to it. So I was just wondering whether you had to be brand new to the program or newly sober (this time around). Also the few I went to had slightly different formats so I just wanted to know what to expect because I am nervous and feel a lot of shame about my drinking so not sure how comfortable I will feel to talk loads in the first meeting. Thank you for the info you have provided and yes I have a plan to go to this newcomers one I have found as it sounds like a good option for me.
Every AA meeting I have been to has been welcoming, particularly to those new to sobriety. We only have one dedicated newcomers’ meeting around here, and people attend with amounts of sobriety from a couple days to a couple decades. The thing I love most about AA meetings is that while each meeting does have a format, every meeting is available to someone who wants to stop drinking, and the people there understand what it’s like to be anxious and new and struggling. They get it. And, as I was reminded many times during the years I was coming to AA to hide out, not to get sober, the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. You don’t even have to be successful at stopping, just have the desire!
I am sure they are waiting just for you to show up, so they can help by example, by sharing, by being available just as much or as little as you can tolerate. Best thing I ever did was show up at AA and did what they suggested.
I felt so much shame and guilt about my double life of drinking. I was afraid to go to meetings because I didn’t know what to expect and I isolated when I was drinking so I also wasn’t used to be around people. I forced myself to go at first because I wanted more than anything to be sober and that was more important to me than feeling awkward or scared. I go to different meetings, some I like and go back, some I dont and dont go back (and thats ok).
Just wanted to share a little about how I do things in case it helps. Have a great day!
The fear of the unknown is fair. I asked a lot of questions about format and stuff too going in, unsure what to expect. Wanting not to step on toes and stuff.
They should all be set up to be a good place for newcomers though. They’re the main reason we keep attending. To help the next person who comes in just like we were helped. We all had our day one and usually remember it well.
I still remember my first meeting. I had finally cracked and just thought, whatever it is it’s better than what I’ve been doing. As a I heard a new guy say just last night, he was afraid to come because it was the unknown. But also what he already knew wasn’t very good, so maybe that fear was just hope in disguise. Maybe it was the beginning of change for the better, trying something different.
I like that. Hope you find your way to one, too! The folks here have helped me a bunch, solid six years sober now and don’t miss drinking at all.
And to your original question, though it was already answered. Here it’s the same as said above. The typical meeting will start with a short share and topic for discussion.
A newcomer meeting is similar, but usually the topic focuses more on the first few steps to be more relatable for those just coming in, trying to know where to even start.
They’re all good stuff though! You’ll be welcomed at both.
I’m good thanks. Still sober, going to a meeting on Saturday 
how are you?
I’m very well thank you for asking @Pamela 
off to get my daughter this afternoon and free exercise on the way, bonus 
