I think aa is really a helpful tool for anyone wanting to move on from alcohol. A tool that is used in whatever way is most useful to that person.
5 Likes
I think these are all valid observations. I’ll chime in with my thoughts. . . I do believe that everyone’s sobriety journey is different, but we all share a shit ton of commonalities. That’s what I find so helpful with AA. I attend 2-3 local meetings a week, and hang out socially with a few from that group. They are dear friends, and I look forward to those meetings every week. I did have a sponsor, but that didn’t work out. I don’t work the steps. I do believe in a higher power and say my thank you’s every night. I also participate in The Luckiest Club (TLC) online meetings several times a week and absolutely adore that community. For me, I need and cherish the sober community. There are many AA members that participate in TLC. I’ve also read This Naked Mind and studies the neuroscience behind alcohol and addiction. Lots of quit lit readings and podcasts. I have many tools in my toolbox. AA is an important one. Thanks for bringing up this topic. I’m glad you are here.
10 Likes
If I start drinking, I’m powerless over my disease. If I don’t pick up then alcohol has no sway over my life. I really like the 10th step promises regarding this. I’m powerless over outside circumstances, events, people, etc. But if I don’t let those things effect my mood and decision making then they have no power over me.
For step 2 if you see the program working for other people and believe that you can have that too then you have come to believe.
Step 3 is committing to do the rest of the steps.
I would not have learned any of these tho without getting a sponsor to take me through the book.
11 Likes
If you are an addict like me yes you are.
I am a member of Narcotics Anonymous. Our step one is… " We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable. " A liquid or a disease it doesn’t matter what matters is that fact that when we start we can not stop. That is our powerlessness. That is why it has power over us.
I also had a hard time with that because when I was newly sober I finally felt a little freedom and like you I felt powerful. I had been torn of my power by many things in my life not just addiction. I did my steps with the NA step working guide and as I read the questions I started to understand more.
We all have this progressive disease some of us progress quicker than others but it effects us all the same. Mentally we become obsessive, physically we become compulsive and can’t stop using and spiritually we become self centered. We just can’t get a grasp on any of those things no matter how hard we try while we are in active addiction. That is our powerlessness.
So I had to ask myself some questions to admit my powerlessness over addiction.
- Could I control my using
- Was I willing to stop
- Was I willing to do anything to recover
Once I understood what this step was asking me it was a no brainer. I was absolutely powerless over addiction and my life had been unmanageable for 33 years.
I hope you get some responses that help you process this step. Good luck
8 Likes
I would view being powerless over Alcohol the same way someone with diabetes views sugar. They can’t just will their body to function “normally”. It’s something that needs a little extra oversight and outside help to continue on in a healthy way.
We’re powerless over other poisons as well that are liquid. I accept that I can’t drink poison and continue to live a happy healthy life. I’m not special and don’t think I can beat something that’s out of my control. What I can do is never go against it again (alcohol) and that’s how I continue to win.
I’m powerless over Alcohol when it’s consumed, but I have all the power when I abstain.
13 Likes
For the stuff about step 1, I think here and there you answered your own question.
The paradox of step 1: You admit you are powerless, you are an alcoholic. Yet people share that moment feels empowering, as you did.
The first time I admitted to others I was an alcoholic I also felt empowered. I felt hope the first time.
Because it is an empowering realization to accept. “If I put this thing in my body, I will put more of this thing in my body and be miserable. Always. That’s how I’m wired. BUT OMG, they’re right! What if I just DON’T put more of this in my body?!”
And that’s 100% accurate to me. I am powerless over any drink except maybe the first drink. The moment I truly accepted that, not drinking became a little simpler.
So okay, don’t drink today. That’s just the beginning though.
After a few days of sobriety the question becomes, “Well crap, I’m still kinda a mess. What do I do to feel better and live life on life’s terms so I don’t get wrecked and start drinking again then?” And that’s what the rest of the deal is for.
Being hung up on the word “powerless” is frankly just ego to me. If I drink, I always drink more; simple fact. With that accepted I can proceed to making some progress again with my life with a clear head.
That said, it’s an empowering thought. 
7 Likes
I still have this bookmarked:
11 Likes
what drunk wrote that 
6 Likes
I’ve wrestled with this before, the whole powerless thing,. My ego tells me I can do anything and I won’t admit defeat. So, to admit that I am powerless doesn’t feel good, kind of makes me feel diminished. But the fact is, there is something different with me than with most other people. If I drink, I can’t stop. I lose all common sense, rationale, and morality in order to drink more. I’ve chalked it up to “stupid drunken choices” before, but my peers didn’t exhibit the same type of behavior. I was truly powerless. Finally, after years of trying to fight it, I won by surrendering.
Imagine stepping in to the ring with Mike Tyson in his prime, you’d get knocked out everytime. Everytime you get back up, you’d get knocked out again. The only way to win, is to surrender and leave the fight.
Logically, there is no way I’d even attempt to box Mike Tyson in real life, because I am powerless when it comes to that fight. To admit that, I ain’t even mad!
Despite our bruised ego, it’s ok to be powerless, it gives us the chance to win.
4 Likes
Thank you so much for posting that. I love it!
1 Like
it says in the big book there are those unfortunates who can not grasp this simple program , so keep us posted on your journey through sobriety , well done on 16 days
6 Likes
I like that you ended with still intending to go to your meeting, you’re absolutely correct that it’s a powerful tool in your toolbox! 
Truth be told, when I got sober I had ZERO intentions of going to AA for many of the same reasons. I too had such an issue with admitting powerlessness. I had an issue with needing to continue to go to meetings long term. I had an issue with the idea a sponsor would control me and tell me what I can and can’t do. Truth is, I was wrong about all of it. I was lead to AA by divine intervention and it’s changed my life by doing the steps far more in a year than I did on my own the first 2 years I was sober. I was repeating many of my same behaviors, even in sobriety, because I hadn’t done the work to change my behaviors, patterns and thought processes.
For me, the powerless is like many have said in here. If I have the first drink, that drink now has me. I am powerless once it hits my system. I’m not powerless before, I am powerless once it hits my lips and a beverage is now in control. I can not moderate. It’s a progressive condition and I’ve honestly never had just ONE drink. And for me I think why would I want to? There is not one honest reason for me to have one, just bs excuses that leads to me being drunk. One drink doesn’t do anything for me. One is never enough. I am powerless once I consume a drink-therefore I am powerless once the alcohol is in my system and it calls the shots. This is what powerless over alcohol means to me.
For step 2, came to believe a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity-I didn’t realize how insane my life was. Until recently when I finished my steps and now can see how different life is now vs how it was before I really worked this program. In looking back, I can see how chaotic and messy my life really was. It’s much more serene today. I’ve cleared out a lot of the clutter. More will always be revealed for my own housekeeping but I don’t have to run or hide from my life anymore. I can live life on life’s terms and work through it when it arises with my sponsor. I live a completely different life today and I don’t bury things anymore.
For me with step 2, I actually do my best to try to not control things. I let my higher power take the wheel as often as possible. Does that mean I don’t take action? Absolutely not. I have personal power and obligation in this too. I have to keep taking the next “right” action and keep that connection to spirit open while asking for intuitive directions. Clearing out the clutter by doing the steps has helped that connection immensely. But I try to keep my own will out of it and ask to be shown the way with clarity for the highest and greatest good for all. As my sponsor says, I had the disillusion of control-what I really had was unpleasant behaviors when trying to control situations (people, places and things) that I had no business trying to control by thinking I knew best. That’s not my job. It actually hindered things instead for all involved. Looking at how others behave and what they are or aren’t getting out of life or even the program was another one of my character defects. I focused on what they were or were not doing instead of my own life. Truly, I am there to for me to get my side of the street clean and stay sober, not to take other peoples inventories for them and control how their path to sobriety looks or their awakening timeframes. Not everyone ends up “getting” it. So, I just do the best I can and share my own experience, strength and hope. That helps others along the way naturally. It’s a beautiful thing really!
I also will say since I didn’t want one, I LOVE having a sponsor. Sure, sometimes she tells me things I don’t want to hear-but it’s always what I NEED to hear. She calls me out on my own bs that I don’t always see. She gives me advice but reaffirms I am free to do what I want to, she can only give her opinion and her view of things. Like she says, she isn’t always right and she takes her shit with her too when she gives her perception on things so she expects me to rely on my own connection to what’s right for me to do. Again, for me it comes back to my HP. But we learn together. We grow together. And we help each other along the way, same with others in the program. For me, the sober community really helps as we understand the perils of alcoholism, we are working to be healthy and grow together-which is not what my old life looked like. It’s pretty incredible really! Today I am also thankful I GET to go to a meeting, I don’t feel obligated to go-I feel blessed and lucky that I get to go. These are my experiences that I wanted to share as that’s really all I can do.
Keep coming back my friend, you’re doing great with your 16 days! One day at a time, just keep coming back. 
4 Likes
Hey I can’t claim to know the answers or give clarity to sobriety. All I know is I can’t drink.
Ok so I’m not drinking so I’m good right?
The thing is I don’t drink to have fun or because it makes life better or easier. Drinking doesn’t help me get through the day it takes them away. It covers all this anxiety and slows the racing thoughts. I don’t have to deal with the resentment or the fear or loneliness. I can be invisible.
So maybe that is just my experience my Demons.
So I was at a meeting tonight and it was an anniversary meeting this week so the 1 month and 1 year 8 and 10 years were given everyone clapped and then after the speeches the speaker started. She started like most do and told when started drinking and and broken relationships. Then talked about blacking out and hiding alcohol. Betraying friends. Waking and throwing up blood. Peeing the bed after passing out. The reason I bring this up is no one shook there head in disbelief or laughed. We related to her story. Had been there ourselves.
There is no other place you could stand and say those things to a group of people and not be judged. Alcohol took over my life. The physical allergy and mental obsession left me powerless. I have lied, hurt the people I love, isolated, gone against my morals. That is powerless. I must let go of ego and selfishness and let the God of my understanding take this insanity away. It is insanity to keep putting this in my body and not fix the real issues that are me. I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually spent. I believe a power greater than I guides me. I just have to listen. It doesn’t need to be a bright light or a hug or whatever. I see where I am lead with the things that happen. At the meeting I saw a guy I haven’t seen in over a year we were going to same meetings before I relapsed In December and we both got our 1 month tonight at the meeting and more important we reconnected. That is my God of understanding putting us in the right place. No burning bush just what I need to move forward.
Last thing I’m happy that you are sober and getting that fellowship at meetings. I suggest you read page 62 in the big book. I pray we both find peace,clarity, and joy.
6 Likes
When i read the heading “whats in it for me” i think of all the years it took me to get where im at now, how selfish and ego driven i have been as an alcoholic/addict. When the basket is passed i put in my contributions, not think of taking out from the pot for my own use like ive probably thought in the past. Working the steps really has changed my life, thinking less about myself and how i can help my fellows is a priceless gift that keeps on giving.
Hey bud. Youre not powerful over alcohol or you wouldnt drink or go to AA meetings. For people like you and I its either one or the other, drink OR go to meetings. What power do you have there?
Stop over complicating things.
You really want to take part credit for building the coluseum, landing on the moon, and nuclear technology and use it as an excuse that AA has something wrong and therefore you won’t work the steps?
Thats insanity.
I wish you the best. Once I dropped my ego and just accepted some things I was able to get sober.
4 Likes
Thanks for your best wishes.
Hope you’re doing well too 
Thanks for your support and kind wishes. 31 days now
Hope you’re well and doing ok