I’m new here and new to being an addict I guess? I’ve been hooked on pills for awhile now and just recently relapsed after my friend passed away from a heroin overdose… stupid on my part to relapse after seeing that but here I am… I don’t know if I’m ready to give them up honestly but I also feel good when I am sober and when I think about my future or creating a family… I don’t want to go through withdraw it scares me after going through it many times… if anyone has any advice or I don’t know a similar story I just need a little bit of hope
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Welcome to the community! My DOC is also pills, the prison that it is. It looks like you have been through withdrawals before so you know what to expect, the worst is usually over within 3 days, the physical stuff, the mental stuff, that is the struggle. I am here for you and maybe we could help each other 
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Welcome @Tyana23!!
What kind of pills? Benzos or opioids?
I had an opioid addiction and went to a 10 day outpatient detox. The withdrawals were bad but not as bad as they could have been if I had done it on my own. The meds given at detox were a life saver.
More importantly, I had to work on the underlying issues. If I hadn’t pursued help after detox, I would have been right back where I was.
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Opioids and I’ve been in counseling and been through an episode of withdraw before you would think it would that would scare me straight but here I am
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Do you still struggle with doing them too?
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Yes for 11 years. This year I’ve been more sober than not, but definitely have fallen down along the way.
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How are you doing?
It really comes down to:
Do you want to end up like your friend or not?
If the answer to that is no the next step is getting clean…
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I hurt my back recently and they have been giving me pain medication, I find myself sometimes taking more than I should and run out pretty quickly… I get very irritable and shakey when I run out and I just fixate on what I can do to get more… like nothing else matters
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Yes, I think a lot of us started out with a legit medical need but then became something we couldn’t or wouldn’t control anymore. I was in my early 30’s when it started with me. I never thought it would be me, I used to say I don’t understand why people just don’t stop, well I now know why and just like lots in life I had to learn the hard way. There are so many other pain treatment options that hopefully you can find something else for your back.
If you want to know your future if you continue down this road, it only gets worse, you only get more destructive and desperate, the literal rabbit hole. Better to climb out now. It’s not easy but it is so worth it.
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Yea I first tore my shoulder in high school and had surgery for it later down the line joined the military and hurt it again only until recently probably a year ago I found out how much I realllyyyy like oxy kind of a slippery slope from there and they gave me more a couple months ago… did you find yourself not wanting to stop when you know you should though. I got on here to help myself but also it’s hard to really know if I’m ready. People keep talking about being sober but it just sounds unappealing right now…
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First, thank you for your service!
That’s the oxy talking, that “this” is better and sober is not. It’s a matter of do you want to be in control of your life and destiny or do you want the drug to control you and your destiny? For me, I want the control, it’s not as if I couldn’t remember how great sober was it was just seemingly impossible to get there. But it’s not impossible you just have to want it bad enough. At first the oxy makes you feel better, but then you need it just to feel normal, and by normal I mean not wanting to crawl out of your skin. Oxy gives us an overload of dopamine and if we use long enough then our body almost forgets how to make it on its own OR it’s not enough but that does level out with time, you can absolutely get your life back, I guess the question is do you want to?