I am three days away from hitting my nine month mark . I have been battling a battle with CPS for almost 2 years. I’ve lost every right to my children. I got my rights terminated in October. I’m trying to appeal it. CPS wants me to tell my kids some pretty heinous things in my farewell visit. I have to tell these things to my children in order to say goodbye and in order to see them if I divert from their transcript, I get jail time if I don’t go through with the visit, they will tell my children a whole list of things that are cruel and mentally and emotionally damaging to them. I may have been in addiction as a mother, but I love my children and my children loved me. They don’t know why they’re in this situation. CPS has me so far down in the depths of hell to where I don’t wanna do this anymore. I don’t wanna be alive, but I don’t wanna take the coward’s way out. I find myself slipping into a deep depression to where I can’t get out and the last thing I want to do is lose my sobriety someone please help me.
I’m really sorry you’re going through such an awful time right now. I don’t know the specifics of your case with cps but I do know the path back to your children is sobriety. Just do the next right thing.
The cps thing… I don’t know, it bothers me. Are they wanting you to tell your kids the truth or is it some made up stuff? How old are the kids?
Stay connected to your sobriety. Welcome to TS
Welcome here. Congratulations on your soon to be 9 months sober. I just celebrated 9 months myself. I have no solutions for your current CPS situation. However I do have advice on your sober journey. Stay sober and keep doing the right things to better YOU! Life will get better. The community here is proof of this. Are you participating in any recovery program like AA? Staying connected with others is the key!
Congratulations on your upcoming milestone. I don’t have children, but I know a few women in my home group who have lost their children because of their alcoholism. Do you have anyone that you can share your story with that has been through the same CPS nightmare? I do know that if you don’t stay clean, it is likely you will never see your children on your terms. The anger, misery, and anxiety makes you want to find some way to not feel it. But this is a big lesson because even after long sobriety, life still comes at you and you must rely on your Higher Power.