I feel it in my soul, no more alcohol. When I drink I lose control, I become a dark person, and I don’t treat loved ones well. I’ve made the decision not to drink and it’s the right decision. But last year, I tried micro-dosing and enjoyed myself quite a bit. A friend of mine contacted me last week and said he had recently grown something I might be interested in, but I’m torn.
No more alcohol, for sure but what about other substances? Should I stay on the sober path and not entertain the idea of using other substances, or is a little here and there okay? I’ve got a deep desire to be the best mani can be for the foreseeable future — actually, I’d like to die sober. Still, I’m slightly confused. Perhaps this is my Sunday morning mind games?
No matter how hard I have tried a “little bit” or “here and there” it always turns into abuse for me. Sometimes it takes awhile but eventually I get there. My addict doesn’t like “just a little bit” of anything; she wants it all so I give her nothing.
I have heard in the rooms of AA that some alcoholics do not abuse drugs… not sure about that though. And this isn’t my story, even if I didn’t already know, I am not sure I would be willing to find out.
I spent nearly ten years 100% mind altering substance free. I made a well thought out decision to try and drink like a gentleman because I felt like I was missing something. My intentions were good but because Im alcoholic the results werent good. I spent eight years trying to make it work.
I was taught that cannabis and alcohol were thought of as the same in recovery. Cannabis was never really my thing, but I considered it a relapse. So I never did it.
I have often wondered if I gave myself permission to use a little cannabis occasionally if I wouldnt have gotten so bored with recovery.
This time I have given myself permission. Its Ironic that now that I have permission I dont really like feeling stoned. I use CBD and low THC for pain. The cbd prevents me from getting stoned. If I use THC its THCA which isnt psychoactive.
I dont share about it here much anymore. many people come here with problems associated with weed. 95% of AA mermbers frown upon it too, so I dont talk about it there either.
I appreciate good cannabis. I appreciate good beer. Cannabis never caused me problems. Beer has. I live in Oregon so its easy and legal to find good weed that doesnt get me stoned.
Have you ever had a problem with other substances? If not, I personally don’t see any problem with trying it. I know some people who don’t drink that now smoke weed occasionally, and I also know A LOT of people who quit drinking and either picked up smoking or still smoke cigarettes. I guess it all comes down to whether or not you think it will become a problem for you, as alcohol did. There are so many different people in this world, and there is no one-size-fits-all sobriety. Good luck with whatever choice you make, my friend!
I’d say stay away from it like you said, for the foreseeable future. Be fully clean and live that life. Pose this question again to yourself in the future and find out what the future clean sober you has to say about it.
I admit I think about this often. I’m in a monitoring status for the next 1.5 years and there’s no doubt I’m alcoholic, but I can’t help considering smoking some weed once my term is up. No casual meth, cocaine or other shit but I don’t think a semi annual joint while on vacation would be so bad. As long as it’s that, semi annual. A “normie” so to speak.
My thinking was that because I’ve never been addicted to anything else other than booze, it would be okay to dabble with micro-dosing shrooms on occasion. However, after reading some of the comments I’ve decided to abstain from all mind altering substances for the time being.
This forum has already proven to be very helpful and valuable in the last week, and now, this morning, it’s proven valuable again. Thank you one and all.
Good choice. I’ll mention Anthony bourdain, as an example. Thought he could quit heroin and be a happy drunk. Turns out he was a miserable drunk. Only way to cope with life is sober
I’m just an addict who’s when in active addiction will use anything to filter the great big bad world out there. Weed and alcohol, have been my DOC. But I can also go for xtc, ketamine, amphetamine, benzos, heroin, crack, ice, coke, gbh, uppers downers whatever. Just to feel different from normal. Just to escape reality. And just to wake up the next morning dazed and confused, hungover, depressed, with an ever growing incentive to kill myself.
Never again. Not one puff, swallow, gulp, needle, snort, or whatever. I’m an addict and I can’t use anything at all. Because that would be the end of me. Also I don’t want to use anything at all. The world is still a big scary place for me, but at least I can see it And I can see myself and work on myself. So much better this way. , .
The reason I use “foreseeable future” is because, for me, phrases like “for good,” “forever,” or
“for the rest of my life” feel like absolutes very few people can ever live up to, least of all me. One day at a time, hopeful for next week and the next month — change is happening. I was a teenager once, I’m not anymore, and one day in the future I’ll be able to say, “I was addicted to alcohol, I’m not anymore,” but it’s going to take intensely hard work. I’m here for it, but still, I don’t want to overwhelm myself with absolutes.
The reason i ask that question is because i have quit drinking for “x amount” of time before and zero recovery work came from it, i was just running out a clock. Keep on ODAAT
Ultimately the only thing that matters is today. The only time we have - ever - is the present. The only thing that matters is staying present, sober, in this moment.
As addicts we had/have well-developed escape routes. We have built them over years. We run to them so easily it goes without thinking.
When we choose to live life fully present with ourselves (sober), we learn new strategies for living life. We use mental and emotional and social and communication tools that we learn in recovery work. For some people it’s counselling, for others it’s recovery groups, for others it’s books, for many people it’s a combination of all three (or more).
Life is better sober. I promise. Yes it takes effort. But I promise it’s better.
I can promise you one thing though: you don’t have to worry about forever. You don’t have to answer questions about “you gave it up forever?” (When you think about it that’s kind of like asking “you’ve decided to eat food every day forever?” You eat food every day because you need it to live.)
Today is the only day that matters. And all you have to do is go to bed sober.
There’s some really good memoirs about people’s recovery journeys here - if you have some reading time you might enjoy one: Resources for our recovery
Take care brother and remember: you’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
and weed is very yucky to me