Good morning! Its been awhile since ive posted. 2nd year of soberity hits harder than the first year. Ive been trying to find a good steady pace for my life right now. I was out of work for about 2 month’s. I thought id work on school. Well i started to miss work, so i went back, for 2 weeks. Then started to feel like this wasnt working out for me. So i quit again. Thought maybe my purpose is to stay home and work on my school on line. Maybe god has bigger plans for me after i get this ged certificate. I find it difficult to get, geez ive been working on this for 2 years now. I dont know why its so difficult lol. Anyway, ill get it when i get it… patience. With that going on im dealing with a very emotional time with my mother, she has heart problems shes had it for years. Now is the time where its really hard for her. She has a torn heart valve, this is her second one BTW. This time the cardiologist say her heart is to weak to go through a procedure to have the valve fixed. So she has to live with it. The sad part is we dont know how much time we have with her. 
but i accept gods timing for her. Now we are just making her time with us in happiness. I find myself crying when im alone when i think of my mom. I just know that all through my addiction with alcohol she has been praying for me to get sober and live a better life for myself. Which i am living today. I feel with her prayers it has helped me alot. She took care of my kids when i was in my addiction. Now their all adults. My kids only know her as a mother. Just thinking its gping to be hard for them when she is no longer here. Im taking everything day by day. But one things for sure. “Im not giving up” my road doesnt end here. Soberity a life long process! 
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This is such a tender and beautiful post, Crystal. Thank you for sharing this. With all you are going through and have been through, you have a sense of acceptance and patience that I admire so. This is such an inspiration to me! You and your mom are in my thoughts. 
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I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough time at the moment. I’m sending strength to you and I too will pray for you and your mum 
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