Some reflections on meaningful May.
Maybe it’s not surprising but I feel less energised from this than Active April. Ok so it’s definitely not surprising that doing more activity gives you energy… I suppose I expected to feel more emotionally energised. Reading back I can see that I have a lot of meaningful things in my life and I am grateful for all of them. What I lack is an overarching sense of meaning or purpose. Some days that matters to me and some days it doesn’t.
The idea of living in the moment and following my heart, being spontaneous and appreciating whatever comes my way is appealing but totally at odds with my very settled life. I am ambitious without a plan and want to be successful but can’t decide how to measure my success. I care deeply about lots of things, want to say yes to all of them and make a difference but at the same time know by spreading myself too thin I limit my impact.
When I think about this stuff I know I undermine all the amazing things I have going on and I need to keep working on finding the balance between positive, constructive self reflection and the destructive monkey mind.