Welcome back! That’s amazing that you have worked on your relationship with alcohol, although how frustrating to find yourself in this situation.
It sounds like however you are trying to intervene isn’t working… You also say you know alcoholics have to want it for themselves, so I wonder if you have answered your own question?
There are lots of threads on here about how to live with a partner who drinks (see this collection), I believe the summary message is usually we’ve got to accept people how they are, or make a choice of whether or how we can stay in the situation we find ourselves in.
I have been on both sides of the situation and for me, I think that summary is a pretty fair overview of the options. We can only be responsible for ourselves and have to let other people be responsible for their own happiness.