That’s what terrified me away from meetings. I’m impossibly shy and socially anxious so reading things out and being pressured to share (I only ever managed to mumble ‘Hi, I’m Tyler I’m an addict’) was like being in a nightmare. My only experience so.far was with NA, the group in my area had strong opinions about prescription medications too and it was after that meeting that I stopped going. I did online meetings for 5 months every day and felt less pressure there as there were more people and therefore less time for everyone to share or read. So maybe try some online ones and see how you feel?
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it is ok to pass. if i don’t feel like sharing or reading, I’ll pass. I’ve come to a point where being of service to others who are struggling more than i is a blessing that i’ve gained.
AA is not about pressure, it’s about comfort. it’s about freedom. freedom from our addiction or our weaknesses that lead us down a path of destruction. i understand how different each and everyone is. we are not the same but we are all struggling. the thing that all addicts like me have to understand that it takes work to achieve the freedom of sobriety. a lot of work. everyday i wake up and say " another 24 hours down, another 24 hours to go." this forum helps keep my mind away from what ails my soul. keep posting, join some threads, connect with us. i love seeing people make that choice to recover. =)
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I have been to a lot of meetings. I am not a 12 Step Evangelist and I don’t have a sponsor but it is easier to find AA meetings than say, SMART and being among people with the same goals as me has been helpful. There are some meetings I do not like and have searched for those I found I will be comfortable with. Do not overlook CA meetings, they are for recovery from any mind altering substances and welcome people with drink problems. I have often preferred them. There are some good local groups as well in one town I lived in in the UK there were ones called Turning Point and Open Road which were excellent.
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Hi @Ayortay I have not got much experience of AA and have spent most of my active recovery using smart…self management and recovery training…I am quite science based in my thinking and smart uses cognitive behaviour therapy techniques to help with recovery. I found it extremely useful and it helped me identify my triggers and use tools to tackle my thoughts feelings and behaviours.
Smart is similar to AA in that you are in a group situation which for me was great…someone said to me that recovery is Contagious 
and after a many lapses and learning from them with the help of the group and smart tools I am nearly 3 years sober…I progressed from service user to facilitating which I love…
Now meetings are online you should be able to take part wherever you are…
Good luck and ask me questions if you have any 
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Refuge Recovery is great. SMART is pretty good too. I know how you feel about AA.
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If you have any questions, I can try to answer them for you. The readings done before a meeting someone’s include the steps of the program, which are suggested as a program of recovery, and the traditions which are a similar set of principles for groups to get along with each other and the world outside AA.
Noone had to agree with all of it, or even any of it. The program of recovery was not handed down on a holy mountain, it was written up by flawed alcoholics just like you and liked me. I disagree with some of it, but it did give me a way to be comfortable with abstinence from alcohol.
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I agree with this. The meetings I have been to may reference God but it’s always felt more of a grand “higher power” feeling rather than anything religious.
But as others say there are many ways to get sober. AA isn’t the only way.
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SMART is very good - they have online meetings and a book of tools that you can use to help maintain sobriety
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It can be difficult for someone to be part of a group that is heavy on ‘god’ or talking about a ‘higher power’, especially if that’s not part of your belief system. I’m not a fan of AA myself. I’ve been working up to joining the zoom meetings that are held by the TS forum, but I’m not there yet. I also do not believe in ‘god’ in the traditional sense. I think there are groups out there who are like AA but maybe don’t focus as much on the big G, and I think other people are going to have information on that, but the zoom meetings here might be a good start for you.
Also, perhaps, being active in this forum might be useful for you as you will be able to constantly be in touch with other addicts who understand what you are going through in ways that other people in your life may not.
My ‘higher power’ beliefs are more complicated than I think is proper for this post, but in some ways I look at my higher power as me, as myself. I do believe there is part of me that has access to inspiration and if I listen to that, then it helps. Perhaps that might be useful, and empowering, for you as well to replace ‘god’ with ‘your higher self’ or whatever word you want to use.
Also consume books that make you see live in a bigger picture, not just sobriety. In my opinion, sobriety is part of a bigger picture and if we don’t work on other pieces, then it is difficult to put the sobriety piece in and make it stay.
One more thing is that sometimes when we have degrees in something, we feel like we should be a master at it, that we should know because this piece of paper you spent years getting says so. You’ve taken classes, you’ve memorized the information, and that is amazing. I applaud that. But it can take away our humility at times. If you’re able to approach things as if you were a novice and you knew nothing, that might also help, though it’s not an easy thing to do for sure.
I wish you nothing but the best of luck.
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I have a relatively simple suggestion, if you don’t mind. On Amazon, you can find the “Stop drinking” book by Alan Carr, and it can be downloaded for only a few € / $ / £. Lots of good stuff in that book, and not even remotely religious.
I too attended an AA meeting, and had a hard time remaining quiet and TRYING to be respectful of the beliefs of others.
It wasn’t easy (and bear in mind, I spent two years in a Catholic seminary).
So I suggest that book… one of my favourite lines from the book, is the thought that doing without alcohol isn’t DEPRIVING yourself of anything, but rather FREEING yourself from the talons of an industry that has spread misery and illness and despair for millennia.
Just my two cents worth…
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Higher self is a concept that helps me, too.
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Yeah that goddam AA stopped me doing the only thing I was good at, now what am I going to do with my life 
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I’m in AA. I would have had a hard time with it in the past because of the “God” thing, but if you come with an open mind you can still get a lot out.of it. Your higher power doesn’t have to be the Judeo-Christian idea of “God”, or any other religious symbol. I use an archetypal goddess image for my program and that works for me, but it can be anything. What inspires you to be your best self?
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You are allowed to just sit and listen.
They may offer you the chance to speak but you can just say pass, at any time.
They are only doing this because it can help someone get comfortable.
The only person putting pressure on you is yourself.
You just need to relax, open your heart and mind and listen.
Listen to the stories of other people, learn how they came to be in the rooms.
Look for similarities with your own story. They will be there.
I’m not an avid AA goer but I have gone and have just sat there and listened.
I have a copy of the big book and used to just pick it up and read it often.
From it I learnt about Acceptance p417
I also learnt the Serenity Prayer.
Both of which have played a big part in my sobriety.
Yet I don’t believe in “god”
I have a higher power, it’s out there helping me, guiding me.
As I said, open mind and heart.
Doesn’t matter where we go or what we do. It all comes from us.
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So many choices today in my day only AA was available and has been for over 34 years in my sobriety , i like going to meets meeting new people and after all this time most people know my name as for smart if it helps then good but id rather sit amongst other guys and gals who have a drink prob not one i cant identify with ? wish you well on your journey keep us updated on your progress
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Silly but I didn’t even think that was an option! Duh lol
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This last paragraph you wrote about my schooling was like a lightbulb for me. I have literally NEVER thought of it like that and that was the best advice. Totally made me look at things differently. Thank you for the advice.
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I JUST got this book in the mail actually!
I agree completely about the god part. I am an atheist, and go to CMA meetings to support my recovery from meth use. I also don’t like hearing about the constant “god can help you” comments in these forum topics.
I don’t ramble on and on about my atheism, so please people stop talking about your god.
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Is that an order? You can say all you want about your beliefs; we’re all different with one common goal.
I don’t usually get involved with this kind of thing but that struck me wrong.
All the best to you.
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