Hey guys. Well here I am again. It’s never ending. I am just so tired of drinking. I need help. I have a 6 month old baby and she doesn’t deserve to have alcoholic parents. It’s so hard for me to quit, my fiancé is an alcoholic too and when ever I try to quit it’s just really hard when he’s drinking too. I get irritated and join him in the drinking instead of staying sober. I love him to death and want to marry him but it’s really difficult in our relationship when we both drink so much. I can’t leave because I don’t have the means and we live in a nice place for the baby… plus I don’t want to leave him… I just want to enjoy our life’s sober . It’s really hard and I just want to break down and cry. Idk what to do anymore. Like I always say I’m going to quit then 5 days later the shame is gone and I’m back at it. I know I’m being negative but I just wish I could stick with it for once. The longest I have ever been sober was when I was pregnant…
Welcome! It sound as if you may need to get support outside of just here, it can be difficult to keep up without it when its at home. BUT not impossible! Have you considered an AA program?
If we could bottle the good feeling sober gave people, well, then you could easily sell it, and people would eagerly buy it and consume it - perhaps get addicted to it… It’s just that good.
The best thing is that none of us actually have to buy it… We can all get it for free by not drinking.
You know you have the strength to start, just keep up the commitment to the life you want for yourself, and your family.
Glad you are back and working toward sobriety. That does sound really frustrating. I know it is hard when your partner drinks, but it can be done, whether or not he keeps drinking. For me I had to seriously focus on just me and my sobriety for a long while. It sucked for real, had to really baby myself and put myself to bed early so I wouldn’t drink with him. I had to constantly remind myself what I was fighting so hard for and why. No one wants a drunk Mom or in my case drunk Grandmom…ugh no. Keep reminding yourself of what you wish for your baby and how you can model positive change for them as they grow. Let your partner know you love them and you really need to focus on getting Sober and healthy and build some self confidence again. It will take some adjusting for you both, but believe in yourself…you can do this one day at a time. 
Welcome back!
Hi Andrea.
You’ve been here since 2016 so you know the score. I’ve replied to your posts a number of times too which are all similar.
If you’re willing to accept you’re powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable then you need a program of recovery in your life which you need to work before everything.
If you keep drinking you’ll lose your nice place, your relationship, your friends and your child. Things only get worse, not better if you carry on drinking.
I wish you the best of luck- what I’d suggest is get your arse to a meeting and get a sponsor. Have you got any numbers of ladies in recovery to reach out too?
Why don’t you use this thread to check into daily? And if your boyfriend doesn’t want to stop drinking he needs to go unfortunately, he’ll be an enabler
Have you got family who can support you on your journey.
This post might sound a bit harsh but I wanted to be open, honest and the most supportive I could be but give you some honest reality at the same time
I take exception to this comment.
@Andrea_Sapp, only you know the heart of your relationship and the heart of your partner; and whether or not it a solid relationship worth maintaining. Just because our spouse is an alcoholic or has a drinking problem, we do not need to toss them to the curb (and thank goodness they didn’t toss us to the curb when we are not at our best …to put it mildly). It is okay to love and live with someone who hasn’t yet embraced sobriety.
Of course not all relationships are healthy or worth holding onto and only you know the heart of yours. Being honest with ourselves on whether the relationship is truly worth having is vitally important.
Sending strength to you.
Should’ve said (in my opinion)
I know if I was with a spouse that drunk like me it would’ve been a green light for me to carry on and drink how I wanted
I needed a kick up the arse by her and all the family, but that’s just me
Might be a good opportunity to get sober together though
my partner is sitting beside me right now drinking wine but her choices are not my choices anymore, I can’t blame her for my actions. I guess you stopped drinking when you were pregnant for the health of your child, my parents were alcoholics and I would suggest you still don’t drink for the health of your child bc you’ll do him or her a lot more damage now their on the outside.
I think about this a lot actually. Why is it easy to give up drinking when pregnant but so difficult when not? At least for me. So, of course, I think, well, it was different 'cuz I wanted to make sure baby was as healthy and well-nourished as possible. But…then I think it’s not really different. 'Cuz I mean, we still gotta keep baby/kid healthy and nourished and happy and safe when they’re outside our body too. And that can be kinda hard to ensure when drinking. But why is it so much harder to get our heads around that? Idk, honestly. I have had a mental battle with myself for a long time knowing that most evenings, if there had been an emergency with my kids, I wouldn’t have been able to soberly drive them to the hospital or wherever. But somehow I still rationalized that away. So…I still don’t have the answer, why was it easy to give up when pregnant? Maybe it was the hormones? Maybe it was just having something else to focus on? Sorry, I’m rambling here, but… anyway, I’m at 85 days now and one of the things I feel best about is knowing I can drive my kids around completely sober, not even hungover, any time. Just something to think about. Oh and my partner still drinks. It’s hard but do-able. Don’t give up!
My partner still drinks too but isn’t alcoholic… Andrea has stated he’s an alcoholic as is she
I would’ve struggled to get sober if she was and the children probably would’ve been taken by social services
The longest I have been sober is when I was pregnant too. When pregnant there is a direct link from you to the baby. You KNOW the alcohol u drink goes straight to the baby. When u have a six month that isn’t the case. You start making excuses, I can have a drink and still change nappies, etc. But then that one drink becomes more.
To the op, at 6 months ur child is still young enough to not understand. But not for long. And I don’t know how much you are drinking and what the effects are, but they will only get worse. You need to do something new to get out of it. There is Annie Grace 30 day alcohol experiment, a 30 program which teaches u all about alcohol.
Life is much better without that bullshit. We all quit one day at a time. Alcoholism will only get worse until it kills you or you quit, that’s just the cold hard truth. Welcome back
Welcome back; glad you’re here.
Go to 12 step meetings. I don’t like them but do them anyway. I always get something out of it. Super easy right now because of the online availability
Don’t just quit. Work a 12 step program. Actually force yourself to do the steps. They are meant as a plan of action, not just to be read
Don’t do this alone. Get a real sponser and call them every day
So far so good 
thanks for checking in
Hi i know the feeling of wanting to be a better mom my baby girl is 13 months anf im sober for 3 months, i do this in the first place for her but also for me because i want better for her. My dad was a alcoholic and i know what traumas it can leave behind. The day i decided to stop was when i pit her in bed changed and al but didnt remember it the next day. My husband doesnt drink so thats a help. Looking at her and sitting with her playing makes it al worth it. Because i missed so much being drunk. You can do this! In your pregnancy you did it for your baby you can do that again!