I’m an agnostic who is early in recovery. I’ve been trying to stay sober for 7 years. I keep trying to do it MY way, and I’ve finally realized that it will never work. I have surrendered at this point. I want to give AA a fair shot this time around, and I think I have the right mindset bro do it finally. But I am struggling to find a sponsor with similar views on spirituality. I don’t want a sponsor, but I know I need one. Any suggestions / help would be appreciated.
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I’m not technically agnostic, but I’m struggling with the sponsor thing as well. I know I need one, but I really do not trust many people, and they don’t have addiction issues. I’ve also heard of some rough experiences with sponsors, though I’ve also heard good experiences. Really struggling with the sponsor thing and getting on in the steps.
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There’s an Agnostic AA group on intherooms.com. Maybe you can attend their meeting and ask for a sponsor.
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I could probably find a sponsor online, but I’d really like one close to where I live so we can meet up for stepwork and attend meetings together. It’s hard because most of the meetings I go to around here have Christian undertones all the time. I’m not against people who’s spirituality is rooted in their faith, but I also believe they will not be able to help me navigate the steps if they carry those beliefs…
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I’m also agnostic but my worldview and beliefs never got me clean. Adopting a Higher power is the only way forward if you want to free yourself from the bondage of self. The spiritual aspect of the programme is what makes us as its an internal job. Believing in something like a sponsor or higher power does not deter from the agnostic in me but, the addict in me always will.
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Your higher power in AA is spiritual not religious. I’m sure any sponsor you get will be very understanding about your beliefs. They’re not there to preach god, they’re there to walk you thru the steps. Go to your local meetings and listen to everyone share. You’ll know the right one for you when you look at them and say “I want what they have”.
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I found it helpful to let go of trying to control everything and recognize I’m part of an eternal universe. We aren’t here long, so a lot of problems just aren’t that important from that perspective.
Remembering that helps me let most small things slide away and stay focused on being greatful for the time I have now. The belief has nothing to do with religion. My opinion is to find something/someone that fits you, and focus on what works. I doubt anyone will try and force you to convert, and if they try move on right?
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id encourage you to just keep going and hearing lots of people share, ask someone who seems to be reasonably happy and openminded. if theyre chill and comfortable they arent gonna try and push their views on spirituality on you. my sponsor and i have different spiritual views but its not an issue cause hes a respectful and decent dude. he has his thing and i have mine. it doesnt interfere w the step work cause we both have our own “thing” ya know?
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im an atheist. you can get benefit if you think of god as concept of chance, the universe or the winds or whatever and prayer as creative visualization. its just different words that s all. most important is you get clean. you don’t have to change your beliefs. take what you need and leave the rest. good luck!
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Of course I know what agnostic is, but I am not really sure what the holding on to that in general is. Is it to do with autonomy? There is one thing that turns out every time that is hard to be ignored or pushed aside. Certain things we can not do alone, this is why we reach out and meet. We reach out to something bigger then ourselves and mostly to something that has a different perspective.
That allows us to so where we can make a change, not by force or rules of ‘religion’ But by doing it ourselves. we can do better once we know better.
And you made that step already now and are a hero for it. I do think I am open for beleiving things, but also had to (and stil have to) make that decision a lot of times over and over again.
I also do not have a sponsor yet so can not help you there. In the rooms indeed might be good place to start.
I wish you all the best and thank you for being open.
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My sponsor has a much different view on spirituality
Than I do. And that fine because it doesn’t matter. I have a higher power of my understanding and he has his.
That is why it’s set up the way it is. Anyone who sponsors other people knows this. My guy told me from the gate that just as long as I believed there was a power that was greater than me, and then I would be just fine. He didn’t care what it was because it did not matter.
I know that when I was looking for a sponsor for the first time that I had a lot of expectations of what I thought I needed in a sponsor. I thought we were supposed to be besties. That our kids would play together. That our wives would be besties. And yes, that we NEEDED to have the same higher power.
None of this turned out to be true. Like none of it. Circumstances (or my higher power? 
) put him in my path and I was desperate enough for his help. It was the best decision I ever made. He got me through the Steps and gave me some good advise over these last 3.5 years.
It sounds like you might have the same gift that I had. The Gift of Desperation. Let things fall where they may. You see someone that has the recovery that you want? You talk to them. No expectations.
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