Im stuck. Ive been Off drugs for a while now. I had a depressive episode a while ago which really woke me up that something needs to change. To be honest, not much has changed besides im not using drugs anymore. Im frustrated… Dont know what to do. I still feel like im junkie, a creep or whatever. I fear people, I have severe ocd tendencies, my past is one big blur and I feel like im not even recovering, just wandering aimlessly. I just want to start living.
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I can relate ive been off heroin and everything else for 51 dats and ive been a hermit and shell of myself most of that time, i guess my best advice is get up and move take a walk listen to some morning meditation positive affirmations change the way you think get out of the negativity, try to build a community, best of luck!!
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Thanks for the answer! Oh Yes… I guess today is just a crappy day. Journaling and listening your self helps… Getting the emotions flow. Just right now I feel kinda crap, might be that I ate lots of crap yesterday lol. Ive been trying to build a healthier lifestyle but ordering a pizza is so much easier haha. I guess im too much in my head… Maybe the things aint That bad after all. ^^
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Its going to take a while to level out. You have to find something healthy to pass your time. What are some things you liked doing before you used? Call an old non using friend or family member. Dont set around and think about how bad it sucks to be sober!!!Thats how you relapse, remember how desperately you wanted to be sober!!!
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That’s totally normal you’re actually really feeling right now im on a rollercoaster of emotions i get it! I love journaling it’s awesome i like checking off goals etc! Me too I just recently went paleo i have hashimoto’s and it’s the best diet for my illness it is an adjustment but im getting better, you’re talking to the queen of being in my head lol reach out! Xoxo
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Perhaps working the steps through NA will help you recover the person you once were.
There’s are reasons why we are addicts and it’s not because we drink or do drugs; that’s just the solution to our problems. In order to recover, we need to get to the core of our problems and defects and face them, only then can we begin to recover. The 12 steps are designed to do just that.
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^ could not agree more
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A 12 step program helps me find gratitude and beauty in the things i have - it has transformed my outlook. Maybe it can help you too. 
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I know how u feel … i felt very alone and lost for the first 60 days … my emotions was everywhere… im day 79 and still get very emotional… i went to a meeting 2 nights ago and had a massive break down while i was sharing… but no one made me feel stupid every one cares and loves u in the meetings… its the best thing ivd ever done 4 myself going to meetings… maybe u could give it ago … your be surprised how much love and support there is x