I never have been an “addict” I drank maybe every other weekend.
My problem was when I did drink I didn’t know my limits and I made horrible horrible decisions and said horrible things and made many regrettable decisions.
I never have depended on alcohol. When I drank- the alcohol consumed me and I would just drink and drink and black out.
The days after drinking are what made me and to quit- the guilt, shame and anxiety would consume me for DAYS.
Anyone else relate to this?
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Welcome @Carolineowens23
Youve identified that your relationship with alcohol is problematic. No need to label things. You can take positive action and not continue the habit.
This community and aa have been amazing supports for me. But there are many paths to a healthier, sober life. Read around lots!
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Same! I enjoy my drinks. And always been a social drinker. Usually once I start I find it hard to stop though. I’m usually ok with a few drinks then stop but now it seems almost everyday I really want a couple drinks after work. Struggling hard not to every night. I’m honestly lucky if I get two days in a row without any alcohol. My goal is 4-5 days a week for now.
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I love the way you put this so much @Cjp I just had to tell you. I was reading the OP and in my mind I had the OP labeled. That was wrong of me. You are going to make a great sponsor someday if you aren’t one already. And you just taught an old dog a new trick. Just hope I can remember.
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Welcome to the community!
Aaahhh yes I remember doing that at one time. And I could stop for the week. It got worse over time. Then undeniably, it was an addiction. Lots of irreversible things happened on that spiral downward. Taking care of yourself now is the smartest thing you can do for yourself. Everyone has a different “rock bottom.” Good job on your insight
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Keep at it and don’t give up what helped me, strangely enough was to think after a month, I’ll drink again. But that end never came! And that’s where one day at a time comes from. 3 months away from 4 years now! You can do it 
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This argument will be similar to most of them here 
Forget about past, Start from today and let’s move together
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Sounds about right. If you can’t reflect upon these feelings and stop yourself from doing it again then you have a problem. You can trick yourself into years of controlled drinking that isn’t controlled at all. Or you can go sober and thrive in life.
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The word addict isnt only about the drink its the addiction to the lifestyle or actions leading to that first drink. I binged drink didnt drink everyday but when i did boy did i for days sometimes and then the rest hungover, but i didnt have a problem or so i thought u see i may not of been drinking every day but my thoughts were consumed by it like when i was next gonna go drinking or i was recovering from it feeling like crap even to a point were near the end i was suicidal. On the day of drinking id wake up so excited id get a feeling in my stomach an actual physical feeling of anticipation for that first beer. So although i didnt drink everyday i think its safe to say i had a problem. Im not having a go but all id say is sit down and go through all that revolvs around alcohol in your life and how damaging its become if it out weighs the good parts its time for a change. Good luck and welcome 
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Perhaps it’s not a thing you want to hear but (if you won’t stop drinking) most probably your relationship with alcohol not gonna get better. It’s not even gonna stay how it is now. It will get worse and worse.
So I’m glad you see it as a problem and you came here. Mamy ppl on this app were where you are now. Dont make same mistakes as us and better stop right away. I wish all all all the best 
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