Ive been sober for 15 days and today i was triggered. I went to pick up a baby swing for my baby from someone on offerup(buy, sell, trade app). I looked up the address and didnt zoom in on streets. Okay cool, so i go. I get closer to this persons house and realize im going through very familiar streets.
Quick backstory-- i was in an abusive relationship for 7 years, this man i was with lived in the city i went. I dont have a problem going in the same city, but i have a problem with certain areas/streets. While i was with him i was a very heavy drinker, i did coke and meth and my life was a complete disaster. The drugs never became a substance i couldnt quit. I did it because my now ex was into it. I did it because i thought there was no lower i could get and if i was going to endure this piece of shit bf that i had, drugs will numb me to it all. We would hang out most nights at different “trap houses”… we were just always on the streets. (Drugs lasted 2 years, alcohol forever until 15 days ago.)
This my friends is why i had a mini anxiety attack/relapsing thoughts running through my mind today. Im home now but my god were the feelings real! How do you overcome things like this? Its been 5 years since i last seen this man and been in that area and for it to effect me the way it did is scary. I never want to go back. All this to say, i really wanted to stop for a beer after the anxiety subsided… so i came here.
I’m so sorry to hear about this - it is so hard to have that rock of anxiety sitting in your gut. It feels like being trapped in place. It can be terrifying and it is exhausting.
I don’t have experience myself with what you’ve been through but I know there are people here who have. If you search “anxiety” in the search bar you’ll find some. You can also find posts about abuse.
Don’t give up and keep reaching out for help. You will find what you need if you don’t give up.
Uv been thru alot girl and its very comm thing to be triggered by environmental stuff (streets, smells, situations, etc).
I too was in a very abusive relationship for 5 years with my ex who was also an addict with me. Even tho i finally had the courgae to charge him and we obviously went our seperate ways, i still to this day experience triggers. And this ended like, idk maybe 10-12 years ago.
When i get triggered today, i have to mentally bring myself out of it. I cant allow myself to sink into the past. So for example i will tell myself, “You are safe. You are no longer in that relationship. This is a totally different situation. Youre not back there. Stay grounded. Stay present”. I will deep breathe. I will gather myself and ground myself in the present. A technique i often use for many situations is the 5 senses grounding technique.
It works for me everytime. It may take awhile to completely feel untriggered. It surprises me that after 10 or 12 years, i still get triggered. But there are healthy ways to cope thru it
Hope this helps!
I’ve been there… I still am there. I don’t have any hard and fast answers for you. But your story seems eerily similar to mine. I used bc it made the beatings hurt less. But the alcohol… man that was hard. But it will get better. I lived in the same small town for almost 2 years after I left my abuser, ran into him at Walmart and the likes. I moved 4 months ago, 300 miles away from that place. And anytime I go back my anxiety skyrockets. (My whole family is still there) But the drink/use triggers have definitely gotten better. Keep in mind that you are still freshly sober. It’s hard… our first coping mechanism is a drink. It will get easier. You can message me anytime!
