Alcohol And Violence / Supressed Anger & Therapy

Hi everyone,

Having had a number of violent moments whilst drunk over the years which has resulted in me being arrested. I am wondering what all your thoughts are on the connection between drink and violence and the effects of supressed anger. I went through a long period of time in the last 13 years when I was issolated with no family and friends around at the same time going through a 7 year legal battle over contact for my children. For long periods of time I was deeply unhappy but I dug deep in order to get my contact but I have paid a price in the process. In the past 2-3 years I was drinking heavily to alleviated stress, loneliness and boredom. I am closing in on 90 days clean of the poison and feeling good in the process. I’ve now upped my game in terms of fitness and really looking after myself re my diet.

My question is do you think years of surpressed anger could still transpire into violent outburts even though I no longer drink? I have become good at managing my anger over the years, but just wondered what you all thought.

I am also unsure if I should look to get some therapy, but do not know which sort of therapy would be of benefit to me?

Any advice on any of the above would be appreciated.

Keep swinging everyobody and remember we all have it within us to become much happier healthier humans.




When drinking you have no inhibitions so often it transpires into violence. In my case it often does

A certain person pisses you off, your unconscious remembers and that built up anger comes to head when alcohol takes away your normal moral and sensible standing

When I’m drunk I’ll fight most people, my natural fight or flight still comes into play though even when in blackout I’ve been told by friends- I’ll still pick my battles wisely (i.e - if the man is double my size I probably wouldn’t go there)

I can only talk for myself Peter. I never got physically violent when drunk but I did get involved in stupid verbally violent discussions and verbal fights. I do notice some of my short temper that I was well known for as a child is resurfacing now I am sober. Nothing I can’t handle atm.
I don’t know you personally so I can’t advice you on therapy yes or no or what kind of therapy you’d need. I do know that just good diet and fitness is not going to make for a good recovery from addiction. You need to work on the stuff in your head too. Therapy might be an idea. AA or something similar might too. Or both. For therapy I’d say talk first to your GP if you have a good one. In my experience actually finding a good therapist that you can connect with is more important than the right therapy. And that’s a case of luck. But that’s just my opinion. Congrats on being sober for close to 3 months!

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I think so. I feel that way for sure. Honestly I don’t know what to do with the anger. I just try and keep it in check, and avoid situations and people I know will make me mad as much as possible.

Trying to lead a balanced life has helped. Meaning eat welI, exercise, get enough sleep, and talk/hug it out when necessary. Still, I loose my temper about stupid stuff. I did CBT based anger management therapy for a while too and it helped. I think it’s part of who I am and I need to find more ways to release it.

I was a mean drunk and after a year sober I still had those same, although lessened, thoughts. Two years later anger, and all it’s associative behaviors has been reduced to almost nothing.

I am a member of A.A. I also participate in group counseling (very much like a AA meeting) and it has been a lot of work with leveling my ego and a certain thing called acceptance.

I loved being angry and miserable. I love peace and serenity now.


How did you find the group therapy?

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I think anyone is capable of violent behavior, drinking or not. Drinking can bring it out a lot quicker and easier, but I think we’re all capable.

If your anger leads to violent outbursts, drunk or not, then seeking help would only benefit you. Anger management therapy would be a good starting point.

I too have had legal troubles due to violence, I used to have uncontrollable rage and lead me down a dark path. Some unforeseen circumstances changed that and the beast inside went back to sleep.

Wish you well!

It’s o.k. as it’s somewhat directed and you can talk about issues outside of alchohol.

Feels good to talk about past issues and hear solutions. I can’t dismiss it.

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Being sober helps. It keeps the rational part of the brain “on line”. Something that may also help is to find a healthy outlet. Maybe martial arts?

I take classes 5 days a week, and train at home every day. I gotta say it has done wonders for my patience and self-control. When I leave class every day, all I want to do is smile and hug people. Any anger and agression I may have had left on the mats or transferred to the heavy bag.


Violent behavior can certainly still manifest when you are sober. Your mind is free to connect the dots and the past can come back in a way far more real than it did when you were drinking.

I have found in the last year I have shut out a lot of people and situations from my life who cause negative energy. I never did that to anyone really when I was drinking. I always just dealt with it and self medicated with alcohol. That is not violent behavior but it is an example of the real feelings I am talking about. You know yourself better than any of us know you and yes alcohol does lead to ore violence, but just being sober is not a foolproof method of thinking you are not capable of it ever again. Get help if needed…

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