Alcoholic Mums - What do you do after your children are asleep?

Emotional Support
1

I’m only on Day Two but I came to the realisation months ago that some of my issue with drinking is my desire to ‘have something to look forward to’ or ‘have a reward for surviving bad days’. Being a full-time working mother of two kids has made me lose my idea of what I enjoy. I crave something to do after the kids are asleep, to calm me, to make me feel happy. I also crave something to help me feel less alone.

I used to read a lot and I like tv/movies but they don’t hit the spot. I need a new hobby. Any suggestions?

6 Likes
2

Honestly, I often sleep myself not long after the kids are asleep. Recently I have joined some online groups, and getting responses on those makes me feel connected.
How old are ur kids?

1 Like
3

They are 4 and 6. They go to bed a bit early for me but I think I do need to start going to bed earlier now so I don’t have as much idle time.

1 Like
4

Mine are 7 and 12, so by the time they are asleep, I don’t feel much like starting a movie, for example. Could u start to learn something? Start a blog? What are ur interests?

4 Likes
5

Hi there! I also struggled with this. I like to crochet- YouTube has great videos that show/ walk you through everything. I also really like hot tea- I drink one called Kava Stress tea that really helps relax me. I drink it out of pretty mugs, and that helps make it feel “special”.
I also come on TS, well, I do throughout the day, but I always make a point of posting on the daily gratitude thread nightly. Sometimes I have to really think about things to be grateful for, and sometimes it’s very easy haha!

4 Likes
6

Hey Suse I struggled with this also in the beginning. Now I find I do some of these things -

Bath with candles, herbal tea and my fav music
Yoga or meditation
Study : I started a course afew months ago and absolutely love it
1000 piece puzzles
Documentaries on true crime because I love that stuff and now remember what I have watched!
Learn how to macrame
And as my sobriety has grown, I’ve come to actually enjoy my own company and feel comfortable with it - something I used to always struggle with!

Maybe these ideas help, otherwise maybe there is a hobby you used to really enjoy that you can rediscover, or, start learning about something you’ve always wanted to know more about? Or maybe some self development stuff that will help you get know the new and improving you? x

6 Likes
7

Thank you so much for your reply! I love the tea idea - I’m going to buy myself some pretty mugs ASAP and some tea leaves for the tea pot I never use!

I’ve never crocheted but I loved knitting when I was a kid. That’s such a good idea - thank you :heart:

3 Likes
8

I’m think I’m going to learn something new - or relearn something like knitting. Thanks for your suggestions :slightly_smiling_face:

9

Thank you were for the awesome ideas! I’m going to get some puzzles tomorrow! :blush:

I used to very much enjoy my own (sober) company too. I’ll be working hard to get there again!

1 Like
10

I used to feel the same way. Booze was my reward for a hard day as a Mama…until the next day, when I had to deal with the inevitable hangover and shame.

Baths with candles and music have become one of my greatest pleasures. My best friend sent me so many different kinds of really nice tea, and that ritual has replaced booze. I try to for for a long walk with an audio book or podcast when I can. I also learned to knit, and that is wonderful for quieting my mind. It took time to get used to the changes, but my evenings are so much richer and healthier now - and I actually remember them!

4 Likes
11

I am a single mom. My twins were 8 when I got sober. To fill that hole we tried to pour alcohol into, I would suggest reading books about alcoholism. Someone here might be able to point you to a helpful post or two with a list of good books.

You can also read stories about alcoholics in recovery and how they did it from AA’s website: https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/read-the-big-book-and-twelve-steps-and-twelve-traditions. The link has free PDF versions of AA’s Big Book and The Grapevine Magazine.

I found women’s AA meetings that provided sitters were also a lifeline. Maybe Zoom a Womens meeting or two?

Good luck, and you can do this!!

4 Likes
12

My kids are 14 and 17 so they are up hours after I’m in bed. :joy:

But truly, most nights I’m in bed by 8:30 and reading until 9:30.

But I’m old, staying up past 9:30 is a bad idea if I want to function the next day. :joy::joy:

4 Likes
13

The best book I read about women and alcohol is Drink:The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol (or us between alcohol and women???)

image
image417×594 114 KB

7 Likes
14

Here is a link to some of the many books I have read…and other folks contributions as well…

2 Likes
15

Thank you :hugs:

1 Like
16

This is awesome!!! Thank you so much!!!

1 Like
17

I also second this book.

1 Like