I’m coming up on one year sober and the pressure to hit one year feels like a lot. This time of year is a trigger for me because I’m alone a lot and the holidays have lost a lot of their sparkle. I live in a quintessential New England Hallmark movie-like town and invited my family to come for the day to shop and get lunch. They stayed for only a short time and left abruptly because my sister wanted to go. I had cleaned and decorated for Christmas prior to their arrival and had been looking forward to this day for the past two weeks. Now all I want to do is go to one of the bars or pubs downtown and get a stiff drink. I won’t, but damn do I want to. Today is just really hard. I feel really alone. At least when I drank the loneliness didn’t hurt and would melt away, drink after drink. Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest. Wishing everyone here a happy holiday 
Thats really hard 
Im sorry ur feeling so alone. The holidays can definitly make that feeling even worse. It really sounds like u put alot of thot into planning that day with ur family. I wish they wouldve stayed longer. That must have hurt
I do want to say tho that Im proud of u for coming up on a year of sobriety. Im glad ur not falling into the trap of that stinkin thinkin. Alcohol may seem like it gets rid of loneliness, but thats just a lie. The reality of it, is that the lonely feeling doesnt get solved. It is just masked by alcohol. Then when u sober up, that feeling is still there. It becomes a vicious circle.
Have u tried any meetings? I found meetings to be really beneficial for curing lonliness. Glad u were able to get things off ur chest. Hoping ur day improves 
Amazing job working up to your first full year! People here, such as yourself, are an inspiration. Gives me added strength to continue my own sober journey; I’m at 5 months (continuous) 24 hours from now.
Some reflection on my own story, maybe some part will resonate…
The 3 year-end holidays are tough for me too. I get an invite to a family event but I wind up feeling like an outsider most of the time, get ignored once I’m there, sans a couple people that truly engage. I wonder why I go except I have to remember to just try. If it doesn’t work out then at least I know I showed up, I tried.
I damaged a lot of relationships between friends and family members, with lying, trying to hide drinking, created trust issues. Even though I’ve shown great progress this year, 312 days sober but just shy of 5 months straight now, it seems there’s nothing I can do to convince people the change that’s gone on. So I stopped trying. I just focus on myself right now. It’s like the advice we get sometimes, you can’t help others until you help yourself. Not saying that applies to you but it’s what I choose to do. I can’t force change on other people so why try. After all, it took me years to come to my own senses, so I figure it’s unfair to expect others to forgive and forget at the drop of a hat. I do try to maintain communication though and via the one day at a time policy just keep on being me and maybe someone will see it. Someone will see it. It’s just a matter of time.
Keep on keeping on , from a former NE (CT/MA) person to another. Again great job on your future milestone coming up!
Sending hugs 
Yes, it can get lonely this time of the year.
I would love to come over, see your beautiful decoration and have an extended tea chat. It hurts when people we look forward to see are not equaly excited and invested. Is your family always short like this?
I’m glad you did your decoration, please try to find some joy in it just for yourself. I do, I’m alone and my decoration is for me.
Maybe there is some milestone malady messing with your emotions. Stay sober, this too shall pass. You are not alone
And happy wishes on nearly a year 
Hey Jess 
Congratulations making it into the holiday season with 11 plus months of sobriety. I too had 11 months under my belt for my first sober Christmas. Covid Christmas 
I Called it the Stink Stank Stunk Christmas. Picture green “Mr Grinch.” I spent many hours on here with my new sober family. No it’s not irl. But this sober family got me through my first Christmas sober. I was on almost ALL the threads. Especially the meme thread. Nature. Check in thread. Gratitude. Helping others on line. It was actually a pretty memorable special Christmas for me. And it was so worth it to save my sobriety. I’ll be celebrating another one the day after you celebrate your first year sober. We got your back. Any time of year. I promise you, each and every other Christmas got and still gets better.
A very temporary relief loan with extremely high, unpayable interest rates.
Congratulations on closing in on a year Jess! The holidays can be tough for sure. The 1 year milestone is tough for some people, I was one of them. Those feelings shall pass and your sober life will continue to gain strength as your foundation cures even stronger. I wish you the best, and remember, you’re never alone.
I’m new here, but I want to just say, if it wasn’t for you and others like you on here, I don’t think I’d have the hope to try to become sober.
A year is an amazing feat, I don’t know you but i am proud of you. Sending hugs xx
The holidays are rough for a lot people. Congrats on your upcoming one year!! It sounds like you have some family issues , but do not drink because of it. Being sober is an amazing journey so remember to give yourself some grace. Sometimes we have to let go of our expectations of others. I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Surprisingly, the early time marks of sobriety like 1 month, 3 months, and 1 full year can also be felt as dangerous times to renew addictive drinking. When holidays coincide, it becomes even more dangerous !!
Seems like either a deeper committment to not drinking gets contrasted with urges to pick up at these times. If we make it past these hallmarks, our sobriety gets strengthened and our lives can continue to develop along healthy means.
Keep up the good work, and ODAAT these urges shall pass, possibly never to return again !!
So very true! I keep reminding myself of this a lot lately.
Hey @Jshiggins1624 I do hope you’re good girly x