Hello
I am almost 6 weeks sober. I had my last drink on Christmas Eve. It was an incredibly miserable evening, ending in a blackout, after drinking more than I’ve ever drank in my life. The suicidal thoughts that I was having, felt like they actually might be automatic… Meaning that I may not have even had control, in relation to killing myself… Which scared the crap out of me. It’s like it may not have even been a choice if that makes sense.
The last six weeks have had many negatives and a whole bunch of positives. I’ve had to eat like an Olympic athlete just to have enough energy to get out of bed. I had to incorporate diabetic Supplement drinks, just to capture enough, carbs, that I wasn’t getting anymore without 15 beers per day. I started taking L-glutamine, As per my doctors recommendations, and it helped balance me out a lot. I figured out that if I ate a whole lot of pasta, my energy levels seemed somewhat normal. But without a whole bunch of carbs, I usually end up staying in bed all day long.
I won’t even get into the scope of the stomach problems that I had in the first few weeks. Every muscle in my body was screaming. It was a healthy realization, that quite possibly my muscles were screaming when I was drinking, but I just absolutely couldn’t feel it . Numb to the core mentally, Physically, and emotionally.
I haven’t shared this journey with anybody. At all. It’s been pretty easy to cover up, since I’ve been drinking alone for at least the last five years.
The benefits I’m feeling lately are endless. Natural energy levels are finally starting to come back.(I was starting to have my doubts that they actually would, As it seemed to be not improving) Also, sleeping a lot better.
My hobbies and old interests are starting to become interesting again. I’ve been doing a lot of walking. Since I can finally get out of bed, at a decent time, I get up, grab my camera and a coffee, and take a picture of the beautiful sunrise every day. I am not a religious person, but I seem to be thanking God from the bottom of my heart for the gift, I have been given. I struggled so hard to get this far. I could not drive by a liquor store for the life of me, and usually ended up there multiple times a day. What a miraculous change.
I just thought I would reach out and connect with some people who are like-minded. I’m happy with the direction that I’m going, but it sure would be nice to share it with somebody.
What’s up Steve. Welcome to the community and congrats on you’re decision to get sober and sobriety time. I feel ya, by the end it was fuckin awful. I was drinking just to stay feeling normal. And then when I would have to stop for a couple hours for work or something that had to be done I was really sick, anxiety riddled, and yeah basically feeling like I was never gonna be able to sober up. Rehab and this place especially, helped me get sober and now continue to stay sober. I’m glad you’re here. Spend time here connecting with people and using them as a crutch. Reach out if you need anything.
Hey Steve, nice to meet you. Great job on those 6 weeks in the bank.
This place is a treasure trove of insight, advice, friendliness and care. You get out of it the more time you spend in it I have found.
Hopefully see you around and hear from you again.
Hi Steve it’s lovely to meet you! You are amongst friends here. This place is amazing and it’s always open 24/7! I come here everyday. It is my only sober support and I’m at 1600+ days sober. I look forward to seeing you around
Thank you so much. Not sure if i am hitting the correct “reply” button in order to reply to All.
So great realizations for me this time. I used to think i was “bored” in sobriety. That being sober Caused boredom. I realize from doing some work that i have been “bored” ever since i started drinking in my youth. That Alcohol limited my willingness to actually go out and do something fun and healthy, right from the start. I wasn’t bored in sobriety at all. My whole life, my hobbies, my interests, my curiosity to try something new, was Hijacked by alcohol. Fear prevented me from being me.
I am grateful to have found a place to come. I need to develop some resources to remain sober, long term. One drink, I just know, will erase all my sucess. It will literally erase who i am, and who i want to be.
Thanks Chevy,
I’m glad I’m not alone in that. I think my alcoholic brain tells me that the absolute only solution for boredom is drinking. My brain is absolutely sick, when it comes to this whole thing alcohol has distorted my entire perception, when it comes to normality. When normal people are bored, they go out and do something lol. They don’t resort to poisoning their body, out of boredom. They go live life, and enjoy the world.
The AA literature, I read, reminds me that my brain will start to tell me that life isn’t treating me right. That I deserve a drink. “ If you had my problems, you would drink too” is what I hear internally.
… Welcome
