Almost relapses

Tonight the temptation was very high that i almost broke the oath i even borrowed money for the drugs( i emptied my bank account so i cant buy drugs) and called the dealer, at last moment i stopped i never stop when i get to that point, all i can say is that the god saved me, i dont know how i stopped,
Now Im happy that i still sober and im worried that some day i might fail to fight the desire,
I dont know what to do
I call the lord for help, i dont want be a junky, and being shameful for my family, i wish ive never been born at all
sorry for bad English ,

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I as well had a rough day today and I even had to stop taking it day for day and had to break down to minute by minute. My anxiety got the best of me and won’t let me reach out to anybody I’m still struggling with that part but I have a lot of good friends and sober support around that I need to learn to lean on when I’m having a bad day. I hope you reach out if you ever have a bad day again because my best day f***** up has nothing on my worst day sober

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Well in the end you made the right decision and that is what counts!

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your English is great!
and, you did it! you conquered it! you went almost all the way, and at the last possible moment you reversed the decision. do you see how much commitment and passion for sobriety you just displayed? you know instinctively that sobriety the right choice & you just proved you can make that choice — even when it’s really, really hard! count on this ability and this inner wisdom of yours. count on your true self. your true self is the one that saved you from destruction tonight. you’re your own hero!

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Thank you for being so kind and inspiring​:heart::rose:

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I hope ill make the right decision for the last day of my life

How many days you are in soberity?
We chosen to be fighters for the rest of our lives

Do u know that what you actually did was massive? You said you never stop at that point but the huge point this time is that u DID stop…this means you are making progress and your getting stronger… this time you chose not to do it and im proud of you for that, this shit is hard especially in the early days so keep coming here for us to support u before u pick up if u ever do feel weak…its why we all need each other, dont worry about the future its too much pressure just keep fighting for today each day and hitting that pillow sober, if u need us wel be here :heart:

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You did great, you didn’t use that’s what counts! :facepunch:
Good of you to set those barriers like emptying your bankaccount! Maybe get rid of that dealer phone number as well?
Let’s add another sober/clean day together! We can do it!

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The problem is the dealer number is stuck in my goddamned mind,
Strong memory is my curse,
If i forget his phone number( i think i wont) then there is no other way for me to get drugs because i know no other dealer, and i know no one who uses this drug(i cut relation with all of them)

Thank you for your support starlight, i wish you bright like a star in your life,

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Thank you :blush: your doing great

Ok, I understand :face_with_peeking_eye:
My addiction is alcohol, it’s everywhere! I cannot avoid it. It’s on my tv, busstopposter, supermarket, gasstation, etc.
But after more sober time that’s ok to deal with, your tel number will be ok to deal with as well.
You just did! :facepunch::tada:

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You are not alone. Im 2 yrs clean and still feel like Im being tested. Especially as of late. But it gets easier each and every time i talk myself down. And it will get easier for you!
Congratulations for making it through today.

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Right Now im being tested, i hope it gets easier otherways i would not gonna make it

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