16 days ago I went to have a drink. Of course it turned into a gazillion drinks. It’s now been 16 days since I’ve had a drink. I have no desire to pick up another one. My 26 year old son, and his wife and my granddaughter wanted to come over this weekend. They have been here every weekend for about three months straight. I mentioned to them that I needed a little bit of alone time. I just wanna sit in my house in the quiet and get my head together. All these holidays coming up are stressful. I want to lay down on my couch and watch holiday movies. I don’t want any responsibility this weekend. After telling them this, I was told to fuck off. That I was selfish. I’m gonna lay here in bed right now, and take a deep breath. I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. I feel like I’m going to have a nervous break down. But I’m not allowed to have some alone time I guess, in order to get my thoughts back together.
Hi, we’ll done on 16 days! That first couple of weeks is tough and you’re almost through it! One of the first things I had to deal with once I stopped drinking was boundaries. My in laws basically took the piss outta me for years and I went along with it and just numbed my discomfort with booze. Believe it or not this is a massive milestone for you!! You have to set some boundaries. Just for the reasons that you have given. Your mental health and wellness come first and foremost! When we start to put ourselves first it usually angers the ones that benefited from the “broken us”. This is quite natural. Let your son be angry. Focus on you!!! Every time you put yourself first you get a tiny bit stronger. Eventually you see the reasons why you felt you had to numb yourself with your drug of choice. This then starts the healing process. It’s a tough process but it’s so worth it!! Try to treat yourself gently my sober friend. Lean on us and talk it through if you need to. Rest as much as you can. You are doing so well. It’s all going to be worth it , I promise! I never ever thought I could be this mentally steady without my drinking. It’s totally possible and totally worth it. 
I am sorry that they were rude and upset you so much. You certainly do deserve the alone time if that’s what you want. I hope that you will be able to maintain your sobriety. Congratulations on the time that you have.
I agree that talking about it here could be helpful for you.
Hopefully at some point there will be boundaries around their sense of entitlement.
The holidays can be a stressful time. It could be it’s time to think of ways to simplify, and do something to make some of it easier. Delegate where you are able to if you so choose. I’m glad that you are posting and that you have the days sober that you do.
Well done! Don’t take it to heart you have more important things to focus on.
I know you didn’t quite ask for advice, but in the decision to quit drinking you need make changes in your life. Some of those changes in the beginning will be extreme and some will be subtle.
One keynote to keep in mind. Everyone has a broken piece to them, believe it or not you’re not the only one! I keep that in mind with people that have very little understanding of what I’m going through! You are absolutely allowed to be selfish about your recovery!
I’m sorry that happened.
Anyone who talks to you like that is not worthy of your precious recovery time.
When he is ready to be kind to you, his mother, then you can decide how you might spend some time together.
It’s never too late to claim your spot of dignity and peace.
I too myself recently started drinking.
As a mom I guess we feel guilty for having alone time. I’m a mother of 4, they’re younger but I’m realizing that time for me is important too. And I don’t feel so guilty about it anymore.
I’m here for you 
Hi, sorry you’re experiencing this issue with your son and his family. When boundaries change, it does throw people off. Sounds like they are used to coming over for the weekend for a “break”?while you take care of them? I hope I’m not overstepping here. Or being judgy. It’s a hallmark of growing up when we begin to relate to our parents as equal adults, independent of us and vice versa, does that make sense? If up until now, you’ve only been viewed in your MOM role, then your having a weekend alone is a very healthy way to establish that subtle shift of connection.
Stay strong. You are worth it.
HUGS!
That makes PERFECT sense! I never thought about that. Yes, they come just about every weekend to get a break. So why am I not allowed to have a break!!! You seriously opened my eyes to that! Thank you
Thank you so much for reminding me that I’m allowed to be selfish with my time. I needed that. I never make time for myself. I let myself get to the breaking point and I shouldn’t have. I sat down and talked with my son and daughter in law. I told them when I need a break I’m taking it no matter what they think or say. I need me!!! And when I’m overwhelmed like that I completely lose myself. I can’t afford to lose myself during recovery especially. I appreciate you!
Sorry I missed this when you first posted @Tigerlilly. You got some amazing feedback, so spot on, such wisdom!!
It is okay to care for ourselves, to set those boundaries and to have honest conversations of what is needed for our own mental physical and emotional health, including not the least, our sobriety.
I am still a work in progress, but allowing myself the breaks I so freely open myself to for others has been a big part of my growing up process. I was raised to be self sacrificing and it about killed me.
I hope you are doing well and made it thru the holidays okay…it sounds like you had a good talk with your family and are prioritizing yourself…that is not selfish, it is self love. 
Hey, good to hear back from you! This is such a valuable time in our lives, when we work to free ourselves from the addictions that covered up our suffering,and we take the journey toward self recovery. Everybody is a work in progress, and it’s a beautiful thing, as difficult as it can be sometimes.