Amends are really f*****g hard

So I’m going through my ammends step. I just talked with my best friend about a lot. Specifically about dishonesty. I’m sure a lot of you can relate, sometimes when youre all messed up and insecure you lie. Whether its because youre ashamed of who really are or are covering up something bad you did. When i was using/drinking i had a really toxic habit of doing this.
We talked for a long time about everything. It sucks that my friend now has this opinion of me being dishonest. But lets be real…she already did. Its just hard having it all out there in the open. She was incredibly kind all things considered. She told me that ive never fallen short in her eyes, and that who i am has always been enough and that this wasnt the end of our friendship but it needed to be addressed. And I’m glad that it was. But its also kinda hard staying sober after that heavy of a conversation and other than my fiance and my mom she is really the only friend I have and its not fair to also ask for support for sobriety when youve just dumped all this on that same person. So I’m just really emotional and relatively unwell at the moment. :confused:


Amends can be a very vulnerable and raw experience, especially these big emptional ones. Try to do somwthing nice for yourself, even if its just cuddling up with a book or show and nice cup of tea. (Just whatever is comforting to you!). Its a big step, it can be painful and just strips us down.

I rememberbwhen I did mine with my younger sister I felt super raw after, and just know this sharp feeling will pass. Reach out to your soberbsupports, and give yourself time to heal. That was a big one and you faced it xo.


Thank you. I really appreciate that. I’m gonna just curl up and watch tv with my pup and my fiance and try to put it out of my mind for a little while. Your words are incredibly comforting. Thank you.


Good for you to be honest. This step will set you free. When i got done with mine i felt lighter. Keep putting in the work my friend. And like mira suggested be kind to yourself

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Thank you. Its hard. My circle has always been small so for me I knew going into it all that sometimes these confessions and owning your mistakes results in losing peoppe so losing the only best friend ive ever had was something i was terrified to face. I’m really lucky to have her in my life and shes been one of my biggest supports through all this. So I’m glad she called me out and we had this talk. Just has a way of making you feel a little worse in the moment. But I’m going to just be patient with myself and not let this make me spiral. I have a tendency to really hyper focus and let it control me. Approval and acceptance has always been really hard for me.

Its nice to know that I’m not the only one whos struggled with this part.


Sending big hugs. Those kind of heavy conversations are hard, but I’m sure getting it all out will be beneficial in the long run. You are doing great by working the steps and growing as a person. :purple_heart:


Thank you so much :heart:

Step 8 ive just went through that step with my guy i sponsor he to is finding hard but im sure like you hel get it done and go on to step 9 wish you well


Hugs for you,


The good thing about the steps being ordered the way they are is that by the time you are on step 9 is that you have the spiritual strength to get through them. I know my sponsor was very deliberate about who/when I should make amends. He knew which ones were important and which could wait.

I would definitely check in with your sponsor as she knows you better than I. Perhaps she can direct you to some amends that are easier.

Always remember that when we make amends is supposed to make the other person feel better, not ourselves.