So… I don’t really know how to type this out. 
I’ve started to do self-harm at like 12 but convinced myself it was for attention and that somehow helped me to stop it. Idk how. 
But last year on March 7th I had a mental breakdown and just couldn’t resist the urge to just distract myself from the pain within and transfer it out. The thing that droved me to it, was when I added a boy on Snapchat (I know it was a terrible idea, I’ve learned my lesson). The boy wanted to have pictures of me in a crop top, which I sent… (Please don’t judge me, I know I’m stupid) He wanted my number because “the pictures weren’t loading” and so I gave him it. There I sent him the pictures and he pressed for more. I blocked him after he asked me If he can resend them to other people. And the sad thing is, it’s not the first time something like that happened. A few years before that a guy added me on snap (I swear I’ll delete the app soon) and we talked for a few days. I only blocked him because he sent me inappropriate pictures, wich I didnt ask for, and made really uncomfortable.
Fast forward to now, I’m sober for almost 15 days. It’s not the longest time, I’ve had longer periods but it’s alright. Also somewhere along the way I developed suicide thought, and I confess, I have attempted more than once.
At the beginning I did it because I didn’t know how to communicate how I felt, but now I do it sometimes just because I can or I’m bored. Don’t worry, I’ve already thought of a better solution like reading a book, that’s how I got into the whole Booktok thing.
Hope you all will have an amazing day and am hoping that you survive those difficult times. There will always be people which are gonna miss your smile, talking to you or just your presence. It doesn’t have to be your parent, those people can be anyone. Sometimes even someone who you didn’t expect to. 
