Sorry for what you went through, you can do this 
. I just completed 11 full days now, if I can do 11 days so far you can do it too . Letās get started and quit the one thing thatās destroying you. Get the real you back looking on top of the world and show your ex what sheās missing when your back lookin and feeling 100%. Donāt give up! If I can go to 11.you can too. Ur Stronger than u realise. Feel free to read my journal Iām keeping updated (back to day 0 but was it worth it?). Hopefully this will help you to do a journal and feel the difference. 
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Going to detox worked great for me. My employer couldn not let me go since itās against the law. My job was waiting for me when I was done with treatment and I returned to work with no problems. But I hated the company I was working for and had a big falling out with the owner 1 week after returning from treatment. We decided to part ways (not because of my addiction). I found a better job 2 weeks later. Sobriety gave me the confidence I needed to pursue a new career. Iām now 10 months sober.
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Iām so sorry to hear about your marriage. That sentence seems almost inadequate in expressing the sadness I feel for you, but unfortunately language is limiting like that. I wasnāt here when you were here before, but I want to welcome you back and I hope you stick around. As long as youāre trying, you havenāt failed. If thereās anything that we can do to help encourage you, please let us know.
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Hey pal thanks for sharing your story. I tried to quit on my ownā¦I had to. I got diagnosed with cirrhosis at 28 & was told by my doctors I NEEDED to stop drinking or I would die. Even with that in mind, I couldnāt stop. I was puking blood from the cirrhosis but got horrible withdrawals if I stopped drinking. I was where you were thinking about how my life would be without drinking and then I took the biggest step I knew I could and asked for help. I went to detox and havenāt looked back. It gives you that extra push you canāt give yourself when you know you should. From your story, go with what @Lisa07 said, itās your best bet. It saved my life and it can save yours. I wish you nothing but the best my friend! Keep us posted.
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Hey all. Hope your doing well. Iām so tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. And yes I know. Nothing changes if nothing changes. But WHY is it so difficult to make that decision to Not go to the freezer and get the vodka every single fu$&n day! I hate myself for it. Iām like a robot that Iām not in control of no matter how many pep talks I give myself. I donāt even want to get up in the morning knowing Iām just gonna drink all day. You know. Great. I have a good job. I make good money. I can have everything delivered to me. But it still doesnāt address the main issue or problem! Why why canāt I get past this!!! Why does it have to be alcohol?? Iāll give you and example. I dabbled in porn not too long ago. Remember. Iām divorced. Living by myself and most would say have at it! As a Christian I knew looking at porn was wrong. So I prayed and took some faith and guess what? No more porn. Not even a thought or desire. Why canāt that be the same with Fuc&$n alcohol 
. I hate this shit so much hot I canāt seem to bring myself to say no and move forward. How do you all do it!!!
Itās really hard right now, working at home, being alone. This is just a rough time. Some pretty serious changes need to be made. I keep relapsing, and itās going to cost me everything eventually. I went to my noon zoom and 6pm zoom meeting today, even with clients calling and work to be done. Sobriety has to be priority.