I didn’t get my goodnight post and that worries me. Hope you’re ok my friend.
3 Likes
Good night my friends. Pulling the covers up on day 1064 of continuous sobriety. Wishing all peace and serenity on your journey in recovery. 
2 Likes
Going to bed sober, I might not be on here as often or maybe not at all bc I keep drinking so whatever I’m doing isn’t working. I need a fresh start with a new community bc I’ve become far too comfortable turning up here saying I’ve relapsed again, if it doesn’t work out I’ll be back bc I think it’s going to be hard to find a better bunch than all of you but I’m clutching at straws here for something to kick start me into taking this serious. You’ve all done so much by being here but I’m on day 1 again so it’s all for nothing really bc I’ve learnt nothing apart from Im a stubborn so and so who will keep mixing it up to find a way to beat this. I’m not changing my belief in God as I understand it, if anything I’m going to be needing him a lot more, even leaving here I know is for a reason, might be to teach me not to leave here who knows. Also going to do a lot more meeting with AA plus I’m in a new community that is only alcohol and weed so I’ll be only with like minded people. Be strong be grateful.
7 Likes
You’re willing to try anything and I applaud you for that. I will miss you here on the forum but I know where to find you. 
Lots of love to you. 
1 Like
Well another short lived bright idea that didn’t work out how I planned. This gang of retribates is leagues above anyone else, can’t stay sober with you but definitely can’t stay sober without you. So what do we do when it all turns to shit and we’ve got nowhere left to turn, we do the only thing we know how, Get the fuck up, shake off the shit and start again until there is a day that we look back on and remember it as the day we picked up for the very last time. Be strong be grateful.
5 Likes
Keep chipping away Pauly
3 Likes
Today has been the hardest day of recovery I have ever had to go through. The drugs were rolled up and ready to go and the beer has been in the fridge cold and waiting. I’ve had a 9 hour craving and it’s not over yet but with the help of people on here, you all know who you are and with the support of others behind the scenes and 3 hours of AA and by the grace of God as you understand him the drugs are untouched and the beer is down the sink all untouched. On top of this I found out my sister has got covid but I didn’t mention this earlier bc I didn’t want sympathy off one person, sympathy is just an excuse to pick up and with recovery there is NO JUSTIFIABLE RESENTMENT. So thank you for today. I will be going to bed sober, not happy but definitely shocked and I’ll take that. Be strong ( fuck knows how) and always be grateful. @Natnat that link and that speaker was a god send, thank you.
@CapriciousCapricorn like that my dear.
7 Likes
I’m really fucking proud of you!!
Praying for a speedy recovery for your sister. My 2 sisters and brother in law had covid at the same time and they all got thru it just fine.
1 Like
yeah I’m feeling confident, she’s the only family I have so I hope so, cheers Lisa
2 Likes
So pleased it helped you … that must of been a God moment cos when we was messaging that link got sent to me and I passed it to you it got sent at the right time … god bless you Paul. We will beat this together my friend x
4 Likes
So I thought I was going to wake up all on cloud nine for staying sober yesterday after winning such a hard battle but I just woke up emotionally drained, nearly didn’t go to work but had one of those god moments like you do. Didn’t finish the day but got what I had to do done. Then a slight panic about what to do after work again but dealt with it a lot better this time. I can’t drink again, I don’t have it in me to play this game anymore (famous last words) plus I like to try and advise others and I don’t mind telling a joke but who will listen when I become the joke. So all in all a good day bc I’m sober but I feel pathetic and proud at the same time. Be strong my friends and remember, be grateful. Even if you have fallen today the sun will rise again tommorow let your hopes and dreams rise with it.
10 Likes
It’s let’s talk shit time… Woke up with a feeling I should be crying about something, sometimes we just don’t know when we’re well off. I’m sure them emotions will balance out. Had a headache and deliberately didn’t take any tablets in case I wanted to drink so that was a bit fucked up. Went for a long walk and listened to a meeting on my phone got home and ate too much but survived another day. Feel proud for doing the right things at the right times. I don’t think it’s always about learning new lessons bc most of us have had so many relapses and attempts at sobriety and you can’t teach an old dog new tricks but it is about putting all the things we learnt what worked in the past in place for the future. Routine and repetition might become a bit mundane sometimes but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Be strong and even when you don’t want to be, Be grateful bc God has a plan, you don’t have to know what it is but just be grateful he’s got one for you.
9 Likes
Keep going buddy. Keep the focus, whether it’s feels mundane or not. Routine is good!
2 Likes
another close call today but it ends sober. Why the hell do we keep thinking the next drink will be different, yes the big book explains it all, cunning baffling and powerful but come on for Christ’s sake we are not stupid people. It’s beyond my comprehension as to why after all the ways it makes us feel physically and emotionally why we still want to pick up knowing no matter how much we want one it will do us no good yet it all means nothing. They say it’s an illness but we can cure most things known to man but no man alive knows how to cure an alcoholic. I don’t care if you haven’t had a drink for 10 years you are not cured, you are on a suspended sentence bc one false move and your straight back in your mental prison. Even writing this it sounds like I know enough to keep me sober yet tommorow a drink will enter my head. I think I should start showing alcohol the respect it deserves bc the only thing more powerful is God as you understand him, I know who’s side I’m on today. Be strong, yep you guessed it. Be grateful.
8 Likes
Well done mate 
2 Likes
Felt ill today and that helped me not to drink although I’m sure I’ve been ill in the past and it never stopped me in fact I probably had a drink and smoke to make me feel better. I really don’t know what I would do without you guys and gals bc I’ve only got 7 days back bc I reached out and you answered my call. If this is finally the one I will never ever forget that. Gonna be left alone in the house from early morning until late evening so I’ll probably get a stupid idea at some point but I’ll be here and AA meetings and I really really can’t be going through all this again, god knows how many times I have heard myself say that but I’m literally sick and tired of the same old shit plus what was the point in getting through a 9 hour craving and hours of online meetings bleeding my heart out just to throw it all away now. Be strong you wonderful bunch. Be grateful.
10 Likes
I hope you have a good evening; think about how it’s just an old, dirty habit at this point. You’re not that person who needs it or wants it anymore.
I read here the other day of writing a goodbye letter to your drinking days. It’s not a bad idea. Maybe intuitively your body will accept that you’re a non drinker now. It’s such a waste of everything.
Always worth a look at Yoda’s posts; he’s really good at putting it in words.
Love ya Paul! 
3 Likes
I read all of your posts, well not all I do have a bit of a life but you know what I mean. Many wise words from many wise people and you 
sorry couldn’t resist, love you Donna 
3 Likes
BTW you started this streak for me so you can sit there and feel a bit smug if you want
2 Likes