And when lights turn off

Uhm. Yesterday wasn’t either funny day, I would say one of the worst days of 2023 year. At afternoon I had psychotic episode and in panic tried to find my pills for calming down, but I didn’t found them, which made me a lot angry and I started to yell at voice, which was laughing at me.
You can’t believe how much I was angry, I thought I’m gonna beat my head to just stop this voice laughing at me and saying absolutely shit to me.
Then I got massive headache, I really thought my head will explode and… I fainted.
It all happened when I was at home alone, so no one could help me. I still don’t know how much time I was almost deadly lying on the floor.
And it makes me scared now, because that voice provoked me to feel like this. That voice is dangerous.
It tried to tell me it’s right to harm someone else and when I said no, it started to be aggressive on me.
I really hope I can for now stop that voice, because I was at psychiatrist today and she made a bit bigger dose for my antipsychotics. So we will see.
But I really, really hope this won’t again repeat.

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How incredibly awful! Sorry that you went through such an episode and sorry again that you were alone. Grateful that you did see your physiatrist today and got a better dosage. Hopefully this does not happen again. Just glad that you are safe and that you did not listen to the voice.

Moving forward - do you have a support system in place to help you? If you live alone, someone that call to do a health check up once an hour? Also - have some numbers on hand if you are able to think clearly enough at the time to call for help (sorry, I am not familiar with psychotic episodes - just don’t want you to be alone if one does occur).
I do hope that your medication will help keep these episodes from reoccuring.

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Psychiatrist did for me card with phone numbers to call whenever I will need a help, I keep it with myself for sure, so yup!

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