Im currently working with a sponser and a group for lust addiction, and its helped me get 30+ days so far.
It feels like a real blessing.
Im wondering if there is something similar for anger. I feel like I’m being greedy.
Im also working with a therapist, but it’s not like I can message them when things get heated. For example, my partner and I had a good 30 days, and then she started to go into fantasies that I am lusting and perving on other women, because I didn’t want to share the content of my support group. This triggered me so much, because Ive found living under her jealousy to be a real soul destroying burden. I digress, and perhaps its just my unresolved karma from our rocky past catching up with me.
As we’re both international travelers, with an international baby, its extremely unsettling to have any sort of fights. Our fights always feel like we’re on the edge of breaking up, and as we are international, I would most likely lose the ability to be in my little baby’s life if we broke up, for practical reasons.
Its a big stress,
Any pointers to support outlets would be amazing.
Or let me know if I’m asking/taking too much.
Angry responses feel like another form of adiction to me. Like cortasol addiction or something.
And yeah, thank you so much to this community for linking me to a lust support group. I feel very blessed to have found it.
in my opinion anger is a defect of character, so dealing with that in steps 6/7 on a daily basis is what I would focus on. I would look at what it is that actually triggers the anger and start working on that inside you. the problem is not the relationship, the problem is your response to something she is doing/saying.
but you can get over whatever that is and learn to catch yourself before you get angry. I’m not sure if anger can ever be totally removed, but you can get really good at not using it when it happens i think.
maybe it’s not about calling someone in particular, maybe it’s just about calling someone, anyone. a good sponsor is probably able to answer whenever you need but you’re probably better off learning how to handle yourself on your own right?
why is the relationship so touchy? maybe start working on expressing these concerns with your partner so that she can understand what you’re feeling. a healthy relationship should be able to weather storms like this I think without falling apart you’ve gotta be able to make mistakes.
I think with time and a lot of hard work on your program will help you with the anger as for your partner you are both in early days of sobriety and it will take time also for you the both of you to adjust
Anger in itself is a human emotion. There are times and situations when getting angry is a sign of healthy emotional life. If anger starts to linger, it can develope into hatred, loathing and vengeance, and that is not good. Those things are pure poison. I’m speaking on a general level. You know why you’re so angry at times. It’s important to learn healthy ways to vent. You can’t bottle up anger, or any other emotion. No matter how hard you try to push it down, it will find a way out eventually. I had so much hatred buried in me that I didn’t even recognise it. Some of it had morphed into self-hatred. Therapy helped me to face it, release it and deal with it.
Like Conor said, these are early days. Don’t try to tackle too many things at once. You can bring up the subject with your therapist and/or sponsor, and see where those discussions take you. You can journal your thoughts if that helps you to process.