All i do is push and push, try to keep myself building and growing, but i am constantly being left disappointed, my guys cant do the things i need for jobs, i feel like a constant disappointment, seems almost weekly i got ppl i know killing themselves, and i cant help but be envious of them for not having to be alive to deal with all the bullshit anymore, all my vices are demons and i gotta stay away from them, all i have left to cope is chain smoking and caffine, i broke down today, i cried like a fucking pussy, and i hate that, i hate how much i still feel like the only escape from the stress in the bottom of a fucking bottle or a mountain of cocain, every fucking day i wake up with a plan, and running at 200% and by the end of the day i want to get fucked up or blow my brains out, i need to keep this up, but raw dogging life is so fucking hard sorry for my dark place, and all my fucks, needed this vent, thanks for reading, stay solid friends
Real men feel their emotions. Its ok to cry man. Life can be tough but keep fighting! Shit wont be this tough forever
You sound pretty damn strong to me. Crying doesn’t make you weak, it’s cleansing. Release and let it go. Recognizing the pain will help with your journey of healing yourself.
The struggle is real my brother, keep the good fight going. Our answer to why we face such difficult times cant be found in a bottle or powder or pills. Its ok to let it all out, glad you were able to share hope you feel a little lighter and can get some sound sleep tonight.
Thanks for sharing your struggles. I wish I could offer some advice but I’m still figuring things out myself. Just making it to the end of the day is a victory though. Tomorrows a new day. Hang in there man.