So last night I got so drunk I don’t remember half of it. All I do know is I was an ass hole to everyone I came in contact with.
I’m in a very dark place today after being sober for 6 weeks and now this slip up. I don’t want to be like this anymore I don’t want to be that person I don’t even enjoy drinking anymore!
I seem to drink out of social expectations like it’s a bank holiday weekend everyone else is drinking I should too.
I’m hoping this app might help
Welcome to TS @LB2019 this place is full of great people who have been in your shoes. People who care, that will root for you and motivate you. You’ve been sober before so you know what it takes. You CAN do this! Recommit, come here read up and post often. Best of luck on your sober journey. Don’t be a stranger.
Thanks Cobra that means a lot.
Hi @LB2019 welcome to the forum… As mentioned above there are lots of great people who know exactly how you feel…me one of them… you have made a great step forward… have you tried going to any meetings yet? I go to smart meetings and they have really helped…or AA… Stay strong, keep asking questions and the guys on here will help you 
Hey there, welcome. Ouch…I remember that awful pit in the stomach hangover anxiety…it really sucks. And letting myself (and others) down over and over and over again. Absolute chaos. I hear you.
The thing is…you are here now. Hopefully you are sober now. And you know what? You never NEVER have to go thru that again. It is so liberating to let go of that version of yourself and be the YOU without alcohol and dread and feeling defeated. There is a whole big world out there and you do not have to drink in it. You CAN do this, you can find that healthy, sober you. You are worth so much more than what you are settling for.
Your precious sober time is not lost. Get back at it and push forward stronger than ever. 
I’ve been there a million times!!! Just start fresh today!!! The past is the past!!! You can do it!!!
Welcome. I hope you stay, learn, grow strong, and share your walk with us.
I didn’t enjoy drinking when I quit. Hadn’t enjoyed it in a long time. Every time I drank, I had to first count the cost. Long gone were the sunny days, laughter shared with friends, and the warm relaxation of having “just enough, but not too much”. No. I had reached the point in my drinking career where I drank with urgency to avoid grief. My moods were dark. I wasn’t an asshole. I was just emotionally absent. I had ceased engaging in life, for life was just the hours to be endured, between drinks.
Then I made a decision: I decided to be better. I decided that sober was better, and that was a good place to start in getting better at getting better. I realized that the whole struggle turned on one drink, the drink that matters…the first drink. If I said “no” to this drink, the first drink, there couldn’t be a second or third or eighth. If I said “no” I would win 100% of the time.
So that’s what I did, for 632 days now, and you can too.
Was your intention also to “never drink again” on top of saying no to the first drink? Or did you just focus on the present?
I know the feeling. It’s so easy to be ashamed for a little while and go right back at it. Your brain has to learn to associate the bad outcome from what it did.
I realized that “never again” was impossible if I couldn’t handle “now”. Be better now. Be better today than I was yesterday, and tomorrow better still.