I will be giving them all a try and try to check in twice a day on here for tips and motivation. Deep down I have a lot of issues regarding the way I feel about my self low self esteem and feel am no good. I really think I need some counciling to also gonna try some fitness
1 Like
Recovery and working the NA steps. I helping me rebuild my selfworth menā¦
The using and behavior what comes with that broke it all down for me.
Donāt try to do to muchā¦ You wonāt have the energy. Better do one thing proper then lots a bit.
3 Likes
In your head you want to change. Yes I think thatās where we all start unfortunately also in our head weāre quite happy doing what we are doing. Itās time to look into your heart and soul, itās time to start loving yourself for a change. All of us have a choice, itās not will power, will power is you having an argument with yourself, should I, shouldnāt I, can I, canāt I. You must make the choice there are only 2. Every other day when Iām alone in the house with drugs holding it in my hands my head tells me all the reasons to have it but my heart tells me the one reason not to and thatās because Iāve made the decision to quit, thatās not what I do anymore, Iām no longer a user of alcohol or drugs, thatās not who or what I am and Iām fine with that because thatās MY choice. The days I canāt make the choice my HP takes over. Admit to yourself you are powerless with your addiction let a HP do the work. Every morning say āPlease give me the strength, courage, acceptance and forgiveness to get through one more dayā. Not to anyone or anything specific, just ask.
5 Likes
Itās just trying to get wrong enough to fight the temptation and not pick up that first drink that I find so hard. And I have my mum who has terminal cancer witch has hit me really hard and I keep finding my self picking up the bottle
1 Like
Questions are how many more times do you want to keep repeating this cycle? How is picking up that bottle helping you cope with what your mum is going through? How wrong to you have to be until you chose what you know is right?
Alcohol will always be an option as long as you allow alcohol to be an option.
Iām sorry youāre struggling and hurting so much, Iām so sorry to hear about your mum. But the only way you can really start helping yourself or to allow yourself to fully be present for your mum is to no longer have alcohol as an option.
Use the tools so many on this site have suggested to replace alcohol in your life. Use this site, use meetings, use your higher power, use reading, use writing, use exercising, use eating for now. There are so many options for you besides alcohol. You just need to cross alcohol off as an option.
Sending you some strength and love. Good luck on your journey.
7 Likes
Hi there, just dropping some advice from a constant relapser who couldnāt get past 5 days before hitting the reset button. I would be woe is me I canāt make this stick Iām trying I really am. Iāve tried cutting back with the intention of stopping, stopping for 5 days and bam drinking to black out yet again. I was still working and didnāt think I was as bad as the alcoholics on here, in AA, or in the recovery services. I truly thought I could do it by will power alone and a hypnosis cd, maybe reading occasionally. I couldnāt do groups because I was working.
I thought I was trying when really I wasnāt I was good at justifying why I couldnāt, I was good at making excuses and damn good at convincing myself I wasnāt that bad just needed a little help. 
Well hereās the thing, that is the addict brain talking.
I carried on relapsing until the inevitable happened, my drinking got so bad I attempted suicide, my drinking got so bad I caught my son in the eye leaving him with a black eye at 5yrs old, I ended up under social services and had to be supervised with them 24 hrs a day for 3 months I wasnāt even allowed to Bath him. I am damn lucky I didnāt have my children taken away. Then only then I threw myself at everything, smart, AA, Recovery services, GP social services, parenting courses, mental health and CBT, I had to quit my job. Everything and I mean everything had to change because God knows what I was doing before sure as hell wasnāt working.
Yes itās scary, yes itās a massive change and itās all unknown. But I tell you this I have never looked back and regretted it, I am 18mths sober now, donāt get to the point I did or worse DEATH,because that happens too, before you head the advice of others, just question what are you really doing for recovery. Tell your doctor about your problem tell someone you trust because hiding it rarely ever works
12 Likes
Maybe get an accountability partner?. Someone who will check on you and you can do the same. Working my program I relapsed many times till i finally got a sponsor that we call each other every day. It has helped me so much. Just a thought.
5 Likes
What a great response Michelle. You should become a counselor! You made me sit up and take notice!
5 Likes
I will be attending two aa meetings as of this week including excersize and long walks to clear my head. Put a plan in place and I will follow. Will be checking in on here also for moral support. Will also try get back into my gp
8 Likes
Freaking love hearing that @Steviefoster! Its definitely not easy, but it doesnāt have to be as hard as it has been for you either. Each day you get a win over alcohol something starts to build inside of you. Learn to love that feeling and keep carrying that over to the next day.
Shitty days will happen, I found that writing about what was fucking with my head really helps me to understand whatās going on instead of just reacting to that emotion, majority of the time that immediate reaction was wrong.
Just commit to yourself that alcohol is no longer an option.
You can do this. Just worry about today and you can manage this sobriety thing. Congrats on your plan, hell of a start!
5 Likes
I feel you broā¦
My dad has a terminal illness toā¦
Itās sometime taking the best of me.
He keeps making the unhealthy choices.
I find in these matters the serenity prayer helps me.
Give me strength to accept the things I cannot change
The power to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
God speed. And do your mom right buddyā¦ Leave that alc alone!
5 Likes
Great post @ThajokerNL, my heart tugged at your last line.
@Steviefoster itās a gift, showing your mom you want to be better than the drink.
4 Likes
Sounds like some solid plans there. Follow through on them and youāll be well on your way! Weāre rooting for you.
3 Likes
Am so sorry to here that mate about your dad we are all here for you as you already know. I am going to do my best I may try some meditation at night I have heard thatās supposed to be very good.
3 Likes
Heāll be Allright I guess if he lives or diesā¦
It is life innit?
However I donāt want to lose him.
He should be doing better for himself.got a new heart valve and having COPD but still smoking and drinkingā¦
About meditation, Iād advise guided meditation. I tend to drift off and a voice keeping me there works so well.
We got this bro 
2 Likes
Ow no thatās not good I guess you canāt change people that donāt want to change or see no problems with there actions all we can do is be there to support your doing a great job. I will give that a go. Am just checking in for morning focus
5 Likes
Iām a trained drug and alcohol recovery coach now
3 Likes
Wow just read this post.
Tearsā¦ I made it out before social services and what notā¦ But I would have been there just the same.
Thank you for you honesty. This is growth right here 
1 Like
Thatās sounds like your really putting thought into your recovery and that my friend will hold you well in the bigger picture.