So its my sisters surprise 18th birthday celebration today i live 3 hrs away and would need to stay over at hotel , im 75 days sober but last few days have been getting really bad cravings even as far as yesterday cause work was a bit hectic i had concocted a plan to get a hotel in town and go on a bender like the old days thinking no one would no but managed to talk myself round . Now the question is should i go today knowing im staying out and if i get tempted again not sure i could not drink or be honest with my dad and protect my sobriety but then am i letting my sister down we already dont see enough of each other due to distance , i can tell im not in good place as i cant make decisions which is big part of my anxiety when stressed 
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Dont you have covid? Lol
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Don’t go. This is a recipe for desaster.
I had to learn to extricate myself from situations where the pure agony of making the decision alone is trying to tell me that I don’t wanna do this but feel extremely obliged to. It’s still hard to not, for me, but I feel a lot better since.
Also your sobriety is obvs highly at risk. That’s a clear no for me.
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You describe it well: You don’t feel safe to go. So it’s a NO. A heartfelt, loving call and a face to face coffe another time is a loving, caring and safe alternative. Protect yourself 
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Well i just thought im off work friday so could drive down take her for some food with dad too and then drive back as a compromise ??
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Could you take her out to lunch on Sunday? Six hours driving for you but okay. Keep your sobriety. Be proud of your sobriety.
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Ha ha great minds and all that 
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So we’re all set then? No one’s relapsing over this?
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Yes i think i just need confirmation i was not being a bastard, say when my anxiety flares up i cant make decisions at all netflix is a total disaster spend 3 hrs watching trailers so this decision was harder with emotional ties 
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I totally get you. Been in that spot many many times.
You’re one smart bastard using the forum as intended and keeping your sobriety. 
Netflix might make it extra hard cos it’s just so much shite on there. My theory.
Enjoy your weekend!
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Thats why its so good you can get help any time of day and its so appreciated thank you guys to another night when i put my head on my pillow sober 
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Well tbf you still need to address those cravings and hotel fantasies. What’s going on in your life that you want to escape from? And can you address that in some way, booze-lessly.
Build a life you actually wanna be in. 
and all that. Merry Xmas!
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Yes thats true not sure why they are strong at minute maybe as its xmas and will be first on my own for a while as seperated from wife earlier in year or just maybe mental health nit great or both lol
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xmas and mental health - probably true and probably also true for 90% of ppl on here. i’ll throw in work stress and make that 100% haha. I’m just saying these are seen from wayyyy up above. they are so abstract they hardly register as feelings or emotional conflicts. they are just terms, from this distance.
if I may give you the tip: engage w yourself and your feelings. you don’t need to answer this post at all, but take some time and really inquire into yourself: what is going on. what feelings are there in you. and then allow them to take room, allow them to come to the surface and exist in you, consciously. that means: BE sad, BE mad, BE lonely. whatever there is.
what works BEST for me is to write it out. in my diary or emails to friends I usually get to hear from myself what bothers me and how I think about stuff.
cos what we do when we get fucked up is we avoid feeling hard feelings (and think hard thoughts). so if you can gradually feel more ok w doing that, your sobriety is going to become ever more stable.
it’s a good place to be to love youreself enough to take care of your emotional needs. listen to what they are first of all. odaat. much love.
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that’s a wonderful idea!
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