I have been doing so well but I’m really struggling tonight. I have paranoia and anxiety that something awful is going to happen to me or my family and it will be a result of my past decisions. I’m shaking and crying.
I guess I’m just looking to hear that everything will be okay. It’s hard to differentiate a paranoid thought and a gut feeling because my brain is telling me it’s a gut feeling.
Please help 
Everything will be ok. Think about your great future and not your past.
Thank you - I will try to keep thinking that. I know it will get better once I get further and further into my sobriety.
I find it helps a lot to sleep on it.
Whenever I’m feeling anxious, antsy, not myself in general, I find that after a good night’s rest I wake up feeling at least slightly better.
Give it time. Until it calms down make sure you’re taking care of yourself- sleeping right, a good routine, eating good meals, exercise, etc. That can help a lot with anxiety.
If nothing else it keeps the mind busy and focused on your personal goals.
I hope this helps.
Just sleep on it and read it again. This is whats helped me.
I am not sure if you are able, but you could reach out to the people you are concerned about and just reassure yourself that they are okay?
If not, I hope you find some sort of relief soon.
Thank you! - They are okay and I am okay. It’s a fear that something terrible is going to happen and it’ll be all my fault because of my mistakes made during relapse. It’s difficult to explain but I know if I’m sober that a year from now, it won’t be a concern anymore bc I’ll think that if something bad was going to happen, it would’ve happened already.
how long have you been sober if i may ask?
I mean who knows what the future holds. None of us can ever be sure. Anxiety is so insidious and I can really relate to not knowing when to trust my judgement because of it.
Three deep breaths, be here now, whatever happens in the future you will deal with it then. Sometimes it helps me to remember that getting caught up in the ‘what ifs’ only serves to ruin the present.
What I have found over time is that when challenging things do happen, because they do, I am actually pretty good at handling them. Humans are incredibly resilient!
Really like what @donut89 said about sleep. If you are having trouble with rumination and falling asleep, I’ll just add that Insight Timer sleep meditations are wonderful to help you relax.
I find box breathing really helps if I’m having a panic attack. Keeping my mind focused on counting helps disrupt intrusive thoughts and controlled breathing can help slow my heart rate and some of the physical symptoms. Also there’s another grounding technique where you focus on one thing for each of your senses that’s right there with you, something you can see, feel touch, taste and hear. Focusing on those things helps disrupt intrusive thoughts and ground you back down into reality instead of the catastrophized version of reality your brain made up to mess with you. Good luck my buddy, there are a bunch of other techniques out there but those are the ones that help me most when I’m in the thick of it.
That’s a complicated question because I was always taught that sobriety is sobriety - no use at all. If so, 10 days today I believe. But I have been adjusting to my naltrexone and had a drink (really one) twice since then. Should I count from my last drink or my last bender? My benders usually consisted of days on end alcohol and stimulant abuse, no food, barely any sleep, etc.
it’s a good question though… how should I count my sober time?
I will look into that tonight!
Thank you so much! I’ll try anything at this point (besides alcohol and drugs of course) 
You need to focus on not taking even one sip of alcohol. I don’t care if that one sip turns into a bender that night or whatever, it eventually will. All the shame and guilt return even with that one sip. C as n you tell us what u are doing to get and stay sober? What’s your recovery routine?
I understand what you’re saying but I am working closely with my psychiatrist, therapist, and doctor on my recovery plan and what that looks like for me. Right now, I am on track. But thank you for sharing your insights!