I recently joined a (very long) waiting list to have some CBT for Generalised Anxiety Disorder. In the meantime, I am really struggling with this every day and have done for as long as I can remember. I spend most of my days catastrophising about everything, but particularly finances, relationships, health, kids (that I don’t even have yet).
Relationships are a biggy. I’m am in my mid-30s and have never had a relationship reach the two year mark. In recent years this has much been down to my constant fear of the future, how I will cope with having a family, being a dad, a husband, running a home etc.
I think I get so far and then my anxiety/fear leads to me sabotaging the relationship and I feel like this is happening again as my current relationship just gets over the one year milestone.
This is exacerbated by the fact I have accepted a job in a new city and my partner initially will be staying put, with a view to moving later in the year or next year, so we will need to do the long-distance thing for a while.
Mentally I feel like I am starting to look for the exit signs and I am worried about my partner moving and then the relationship falling apart, which is something I would feel really guilty about if she was to make the move.
However, having felt like I am recognising the pattern a huge part of me is determined to push through the fear and persevere through what is proving a bit of a difficult time.
This post is as much about getting things off my chest than anything else, but just wondered if anyone had any advice or have had similar issues with anxiety and how to manage it.
Alcohol served as a big distraction for a long time, but gladly that is no longer the case as I keep going with my sobriety.
