Hi. I’m so glad I stumbled on this site and I’m hoping that someone could be kind enough to reach out to me? I’m so very, very scared, and it’s all my own fault. I have suffered from an anxiety disorder for 15 - 20 years and used wine to cope…and lots of it. I was diagnosed with compensated cirrhosis in May 2022, Class A Pugh score. I saw my specialist again last week [after 2 years - anxiety disorder stopped me from follow up visits before last week. I’m so STUPID]. Was told to stop drinking in May 2022, but stupidly kept drinking, though not at the same rate. Now have Class B Pugh score, and have entered into the decompensated state of cirrhosis now and am absolutely terrified. Not had a drink for 2 weeks, joined gym today, and am researching the best diet for cirrhosis. I’m so scared. I have portal hypertension and an enlarged spleen. T Bil of 61, yet no signs of jaundice. ALP is 158, GGT is 183. No signs of edema. Low platelet count. My specialist confused me - told me I had 5 years to live, but at the same appointment also said that if I stopped drinking, exercised, all the good stuff that I had a good chance of stopping further damage and could even revert to compensated again. I’m very confused, anxiety is rampant and I’m petrified. I don’t want to die and leave my beautiful husband and son because of my stupidity. Could someone please help? Thank you so much.
Hello, I don’t have the knowledge or experience to address the medical issues but I am thinking there will be others here who may be able to. My guess on what your doctor said is that if you don’t make changes, then you have 5 years to live but if you do make the changes, you can improve. Since it isn’t clear what he said, it would need to be clarified, perhaps through an email to the doctor. I can feel how scared you are through your post. Please know this is a great place to get support. Your situation can get better. You have already taken steps to improve not only your physical health but likely your mental health as well. I deal with depression and anxiety and being sober has helped in both areas. I am also glad you found this site and I hope you will become a part of our online community.
I’m second what @puddy68 said regarding the medical advice.
I do have experience on the anxiety side of things and abusing substances to alter my mood. So far in this sober journey I’ve come to realize that my substance abuse is an attempt at a solution, not the actual root of the problem. Unfortunately the negative consequences of booze and pills make life worse for me in all kinds of areas.
In the earliest days of my sobriety I was also consumed by anxiety and depression. Our brains suffer from an under production of dopamine once the taps are turned off and will take some time to correct. So there is a biological recovery there.
There is also a psychological recovery where you find yourself having to “sit with” the weight of all your thoughts and feelings that are extremely uncomfortable…hence why we drank or used. This is where the “work” comes in of learning to understand and manage the “why of things” as to our substance abuse.
Welcome to the community 
And 2 weeks is amazing! You have broke the viscous cycle.
I can’t help with any medical advice.
I do know stopping and abstaining 100% is the only way forward here. Your already doing that so that’s a great start.
Maybe write down some qns for your Dr that you now realise you want to know since the appointment.
There are people here who are going through similar, or have been. You can use the search bar to find threads with liver chirrossis too and take a read at others experiences.
Im glad you found us 
Hi Aussie_Tiger. Thanks so much for your reply. I’ve never thought about the psychological recovery…it makes so much sense. Thank you, this has really helped. God Bless.
Welcome @puddy68 !! Big hugs for you. You can do this 
The good news is that we have had members here that have been diagnosed with cirrhosis and have reversed it. The liver is a miraculous organ that can heal itself. Organs like the heart, not so much. Once it’s damaged, it’s damaged. So that’s good news for you too! Maybe it’s 5 years if you continue with the lifestyle of drinking. I think it would be so important for you to surround yourself with some sober support. Go online and you won’t have to deal with the socializing part. Start reading some literature and arm yourself with knowledge (if you haven’t already). Come on here and post when you start having anxiety. There is always someone to reach out to. You have so much to be sober for. Sober life is a good one 
It sounds like the doctor is saying that if you stop drinking and adopt a healthy lifestyle then there’s a good chance that you’ll be ok. I have a friend who had cirrhosis diagnosed over 10 years ago. He’s been sober ever since and all was good for a while, but he didn’t adopt a healthy lifestyle so now he’s pretty bad off. I’m not a doctor, but from what I’ve seen if you live a healthy lifestyle and have a healthy diet you can heal and it’s worth a try considering the alternative.
I really feel you anxiety wise. I have anxiety/panic disorder, but can’t ever get proper anxiety meds. So, I self medicate with wine. It’s insane to me that anxiety meds are treated as more dangerous than alcohol.