Good news first.
I havent cut myself since March, and havent drank since October. Feeling good about that. I got a good job I start next week at an actual restaurant not just fast food (no shade to anyone who works fast food I just wanted more than that). I graduated high school finally. My dad, who hasnt been able to work for 2 1/2 years due to injuries, is now in school to get a job he can actually do so yay for him.
Bad news now
Im getting depressed again and Im dissociating more than usual. Some of my friends are not doing great but I cant help them. One relapsed and another went back to rehab. Also the anniversary of a friends death is coming up next week (rest in peace Abby.) She od on fentanyl, it was in her coke. My cousin died in a similar way, except it was her meth that was laced. Yeah friends aren’t a great category rn. Family is stressful too, dad keeps getting frustrated at the computer for school stuff and mom gets mad at him for freaking out and its not great.
Any advice on dealing with depression? Maybe self care ideas, ways to actually get stuff done, how to have energy, stuff like that.
Gosh, depression sucks. And so do weird family dynamics, especially when you can’t get away from them!! I’m sorry to hear about your friend and cousin. That’s got to be hard.
First of all though, congrats on almost 10 months of sobriety! That’s a great accomplishment. And also congrats on what sounds like a great new job!
I struggle with depression and it helps, in my opinion, to attack it from as many angles as you can. Meds have helped, therapy has helped, reading books about depression has helped enormously with a recent episode. Talking to friends or a sponsor, getting out and exercising, and self care. And even then I can STILL get depressed! Going to (for me, women’s) AA meetings and talking about what’s going on and how I am feeling also helps me. And hearing other’s stories helps me get out of my head. 'Cuz that is exactly where I am when I get depressed – in my head too much!!
Good luck getting through this! Glad you are coming on here.
Yes to all of this! I struggle with depression and anxiety. My state of being is finally improving with the combination of medication, therapy, exercise, staying hydrated, sobriety, AA, a wonderful sponsor, working the steps…and art. Having a creative outlet is extremely helpful for me when the bad days come, because yes they do still happen. That’s just part of being human. Addicts tend to be sensitive people, so it’s common for us to feel our emotions strongly. “This too shall pass” is a phrase I repeat to myself a lot.
I responded to Kareness and her excellent advice, but I wanted to add one more thing. Do you have a ritual that you engage in on the anniversary of your friends’ deaths? Ritual can be extremely helpful in processing grief. It can be super simple - cooking and eating their favorite meal, displaying a bouqt of their favorite flowers, watching a movie you both enjoyed together, writing down a funny memory…anything really that celebrates who they were as people.
I’m sorry you are having a rough time and have experienced these tragedies in your life. Be easy with yourself. It’s ok to not feel ok sometimes.
I mean her death was last year so I dont exactly have a routine/ritual set. Me and some other friends had a memorial about a month after she passed, maybe we can have something similar this year
@Jay6 and @Tess, really liked this book. It was a random read from the public library e-books and then I bought it. The author shares his own struggle with depression and runs a clinic that does whole-person treatment. Makes a lot of sense to me!!
