Hi,
Relapsed ugly 2 days ago and my wife just about had enough. Obviously my promises haven’t been kept. Any advice on how to tackle this? Tks
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I agree with @lorelai
You can’t tell your partner you are going to change. You have to do it and let them see the change in you
Just keep going. One day at a time. You can do it
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You know what you gotta do!!
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I would suggest a program of recovery. Or at the minimum checking in here daily. You posted almost an identical post over a year ago. There’s nothing we can help you with unless you’re willing to help yourself. Showing up here after the damage is already done is like shutting the barn door after the horse is already out. That’s why it’s important to work on your sobriety daily.
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Tks for the message.
About the same post a year ago: that’s right. No escape, huh.
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Oh there’s definitely an escape from addiction. There’s a path that’s been followed by millions and it works. We just gotta walk through the door. For me that was going to AA and working the 12 steps
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Effort and changed behavior. Effort like coming here every day, joining a recovery program. Relapse is a choice.
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Escape…will I always be an alcoholic
…yes. Do i have to drink, absolutley not.
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Yup, the others here are right. It’s gonna take some time for your wife to trust in you. The proof is in the pudding, as they say. Mind you, this is coming from someone who broke her husbands trust countless times!! , I’m finally in a place where I’m fully committed to sobriety, and with 69 straight days under my belt, I’m finally starting to see our relationship improve. So, if that’s any indication…
You can do this.
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I’m the wife of an alcoholic. I told my husband there’s one thing I need to see and that’s ACTION. I didn’t want to hear any more empty promises. He immersed himself into a recovery program and was all excited to take me to his 90 day celebration. Instead of congratulating him, I walked out at the end saying “I’ll be back to celebrate your 1 year.” Obviously, I wasn’t impressed. From experience, I knew it took more than 90 days to get this disease under control. I’m happy to say, he did reach that 1st year and we did celebrate. Since then, he’s reached another year and our life together is flourishing. What I’m trying to say is there is hope, if you’re willing to put in the hard work.
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Never got back with my wife she got married again as i did AA saved my life
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Thanks everybody for your posts.
One thing that returns to my head is: how many relapses does it take? I’ve read that it’s normal, I’ve read that it’s part of the process, and I’ve read the statistics. But how do I make sure, other than just take it day by day, that the final is the final?
Just venting anyways. Serves as a daily check in.
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What are you willing to do?
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Maybe sematics…but i dont think relapse is part of the recovery process. Relapse is a part of active addiction.
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I’m changing my daily routines. Starting with waking up to the phrase in my alarm clock saying “alcoholism is treatable, not curable”. And then continue with meds I’d stopped taking.
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Do you think that’s enough? Is that all the effort your marriage is worth?
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I’ll probably due more, but for me at least is the BIG step. Haven’t accepted my problem in the 4 years I’ve had this issue. 
Gotta start somewhere.
Medication is a useful tool for sure. But it should not be your only one, imho. Online meetings can be a way to try various meetings. You can find aa ones here.
Google would also point you in the direction of Recovery Dharma or Smart meeting. Doing an extra thing for your recovery might also help your wife understand you are serious this time.
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What I’ve learned throughout my sobriety (and 2 relapses) is you get out what you put in. So if you put in minimal effort you’ll get minimal results.
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Yeah…Sobriety.