I’m mum to a 7 year old son. I love him with every bone in my body but never ever feel like I am good enough for him. He has been my motivation to stay sober, as well as doing it for me. However I know I am not as good a parent as my husband and that kills me. My son behaves better for his Dad. Tonight I raised my voice to him and he told me he behaves better for his dad as his dad doesn’t shout as much. Honestly I know I raise my voice but I didn’t think it was excessive. I just don’t know if this is my son manipulating the situation as he knows he’s been naughty tonight, or if I am actually a bit of a shit mum! I’ve spoken to my two close friends who say I am a good mum and do nothing different from them. If anything I raise my voice a lot less than one of them. I just feel so crap because the mummy guilt has once again set in and I just don’t know where to go with this feeling.
Thank you! I needed to hear that today.
Ok, I’m not a mother, but all I hear in your words is " I’m not good enough" fear of self worth.
Please, start to love yourself. You are so worth everything you think you are not!
Thank you!
Nope. Not true. This is your self-doubt, sneaky addict brain talking: ‘You’re not capable of dealing with life, you’re not good enough, who cares anyway right?’
Bullshit!
Straight up: you are a human like all of us. You are a mother like millions (billions?) of women before you. You have their wisdom and strength in you. It’s built into your genes.
I’ve known so many different types of moms, of so many friends and cousins and various people, and every single one of them is different. Some raised their voices. I know their kids. They’re adults now. They’re fine.
Who’s in a position to judge you here? No one. What jury are you confessing to? None! At the end of the day what matters is being there for your son and helping him to be present in life, to deal with all the ups and downs and uncertainties of it, to take them in stride.
Taking life one day at a time is what you learn in sobriety. And you are doing your sobriety. You are learning exactly what your son needs to learn. And he’s watching that, and learning from you, about how to be sober and healthy. And if that’s not good parenting I don’t know what is.
You’re a good person, a good woman, and a good mother. I say it’s true (and even if I didn’t it would still be true). You deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self. Don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself - the same kindness you would show to your son if he was sick. You deserve love as much as he does 
(even when you’re having a hard day!)
Hey I am a mom of a 7 year old and 3 year old. I love my boys endlessly and I would die for them but believe me I’m yelling at them too sometimes. It’s normal. That doesn’t make you or me a bad mom. Don’t compare yourself to your husband. He is not better than you. Just different. And at least my 7 year old is Sneaky sometimes. Listen to your heart. You are a good mom. Your kid loves you! Nobody is perfect and we have good and bad days. As long as we are sober we will be good moms. Trust yourself a little bit more. Your son will always love you because you are his mom 
I am a mother to 4 kids ranging in age from 15 to 2. I definitely understand how you’re feeling. You are a wonderful mom and you are definitely good enough!!
Mine is grown but no mommy guilt for you!!! If you didn’t yell on occasion you’d probably blow a gasket! Kids are hard to deal with 24/7!
Hey Mom! Guess what? Baby boys always behave better for dad because they know they have mom’s love in their back pocket and always will! That’s a sign of a good mom because he knows you’re going to love him unconditionally. CHECK you got that covered! Good job mom! Now the bad news… You fell for it LoL You fell for the diversion. He knows you’re subjected to guilt. Kids are smarter than you think! When he throws something at you that has NOTHING to do with what he needs to be doing, yelling or not, he is trying to get your diverted. Remember what the objective is…ex. clean your room… You yell at me too much… And that doesn’t change the fact that you need to clean your room. All of us have different parenting styles and there is no real right way. But remember the overall goals. Focus on your sobriety goals and focus on parenting goals. You CAN do both effectively without interfering with each other. You got this Mom!!! 
BTW successfully raised four sons here… But am working on baby girl now. Now THAT is a different conversation 
Thank you! Honestly the positive messages I’m receiving are really helping me.
You are so right! I realised afterwards it was a complete diversion tactic! They are such clever little people.
I have 2 boys aged 8 and 9 years old, they behave better for my partner than me. My boys know how to make me feel guilty or nag like crazy because I end up giving in. The difference between me and my partner is that he is more consistent with what he does in the way of saying no and telling the boys what consequences they will have if they break the rules. I’m easily swayed and let things slide, and I also don’t want the mom guilt. I’m getting better in sobriety but the boys still push my buttons. My boys have called me mean and that they hate me but I don’t take it personally now I just tell them that’s a shame because I love you. I raise my voice to my kids because a lot of the time they don’t listen until I’ve completely lost my shit. It’s normal don’t beat yourself up over it but definitely do take time for yourself, love yourself, be kind to yourself and know deep down that you are doing your very best and that’s OK, none of us are perfect parents
Thank you. What you describe is very similar to my own experience. Its good to know its not just me!
Wow. Firstly I’m so sorry for all you have been through! Secondly thank you for your wise words…I’m off to get that book!
Just ordered the book. It has amazing reviews! Thank you.