I’m having a hard time with my sobriety. I just can’t make it a couple of days even. I have gotten to three days a couple of times, but not very much more than that. I have done a week earlier also, but that’s a while ago. I just can’t get even the first days. Like, when my addiction was the worst , I could watch (my addiction is pornography) porn maybe 2-3 times a day. And now I just can’t resist even a couple of days. So any tips for getting started? I think that if I would get started properly, it would get easier then. Any help, response and tips is appreciated!
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Hey @Liam8. Porn, masterbation, lust, etc are my addiction too. Today marks 222 days for me. To me it sounds like you need to break a routine. If you’re struggling with porn on your phone, make sure it doesn’t come with you to the bathroom or to bed.
I know it’s easier said than done, but if you’re struggling get on this forum and describe your feelings to the group. Others will have gone through exactly what you’re dealing with. Sometimes in the early days of sobriety (for any addiction) it benefits folks to get to a meeting every day. If you haven’t tried that, I recommend it.
Fighting the urge will be a losing battle. White knuckling is not a permanent solution. You’re better off putting your hand on your heart and taking 5 deep slow breaths, taking a nap, going for a walk, etc. Do your best to distract your mind.
You may be feeling like you simply can’t get through the day without acting out. Realize that this is a lie the addiction is telling you so that you feed it. It’s ok to acknowledge that urge, but realize that it’s selling you a lie. I hope that helps and gets you started.
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Hey @Liam8 porn and sex outside my marriage are my addictions. I have 42 days sober today, but before that I was a chronic relapser, not making it more than a week, sometimes acting out twice a day or more.
I would just echo everything that @MikeSeekingHope said.
The one thing that I would add was that nothing changed until I believed that I deserved a better life. That came with the rejection of shame and reading a lot.
The addiction thrives on low self worth; raise the self worth and starve the addict.
We are all here for you.
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Absolutely! Contrary to popular belief, you can live without porn!
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Second what these other good folk have said. I’d recommend filters in the early stage of sobriety. Put up walls to protect yourself. This is only for your protection though, this is not a solution. You will relapse still, until you figure out what it is that has caused the addiction in the first place. Work on the issues that are rooted within to fix the problem. Go to a program, get counseling, meditate, etc.
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