edit for privacy reasons
4 Likes
@Hopewell You are being too hard on yourself, you have a disease and if you need to put some distance between you and the negative people in your life, do it.
You canât just give up on meetings and the 12 steps. You are stuck thinking about the problem, not a solution.
I would suggest going back to a meeting today, now if possible, and share what youâre experiencing. If you feel alone, it is because you are isolating yourself. There are people and groiups out there right now who are willing to help you but this self-pity is leading to inaction.
Sorry for being harsh, but this is just my opinion, i could be wrong.
You can choose to be solution oriented if you want to be.
3 Likes
stick at your meetings these things happen when my Brother died his sons said that me and my twin brother wouldnt be welcome and they threatened us they were in the army and tough guys , my brother and i were working when they turned of his machine at the hospital so couldnt make it , but that didnt seem to matter so my brother and i didnt go sad but ive come to accept it , m.same year my older brother passed my twin and i arranged his funeral and the soldier boys werent to be seen and sadly 2 years later my twin brother passed away i sort the funeral out with his sons and again the soldier boys didnt show up ,i know the incident about their dad was grieve and anger and we were the fall guys so i dont hold any grudge life goes on wish you well
4 Likes
That sounds like a horrible situation.
First, if you feel bad about not going to the memorial in terms of your father, in my opinion you can commemorate him yourself in whatever way would fit him, you and the relationship you have. It sounds like he was your ally, and if he were alive he would understand the situation that made you not go.
Next, the relationships with the living members of your family. I am not sure of the details, but in general, setting boundaries, letting go of what you canât control, etc, are ways to deal with relationships that are difficult. You could maybe talk to a counsellor or read up about it.
Third, about being a bad example of AA. âThe only requirement is a desire to stop drinkingâ. If you are still sober, you are a great example of AA. If you drank, but have the desire to quit, you still got a place at the table. If you didnât do well at keeping to various principles, then âprogress not perfectionâ. What did you do, why did you do it, what can you do differently? If you have experience with the steps inventory it.
But sending warmth and the power to forgive yourself. 
6 Likes
Thank you for telling me that you self-pity. That is very helpful.
Not sure what you mean about meetings, though. This was an outside of meetings event.
2 Likes
@Ray_M_C_Laren Always have such loving helpful experience to share, thank you, I feel less alone. âThese things happenâ helps a lot! it;;s funny, my meditation tonight was talking about âeventsâ just being events. And that we make them into such more.
Sorry to hear about your family problems and yes, it is just their grief. We have to be understanding. And get out of self, I guess. God bless.
2 Likes
Awesome response, @Misokatsu , Thanks. Yes inventorying is showing me a lot of stuff! And all your comments have helped. I need to stay positive, not let things bring me down. That is just the disease. Honestly, I feel like I always, always want to do Godâs will from hereon in. Sometimes it takes a lot of pain to be willing! Xo Hopewell
2 Likes