I am almost 2 1/2 years clean. I am in Narcotics Anonymous, and I am working the 4th step. I have been working on it almost daily for the last 12 days, maybe longer. I have been stuck on the inventory, question 1 about who I am resentful towards and what is the back story behind it. I am remembering a lot of people and memories I have shoved down but I know I need to get the poison out on paper. I have been feeling a lot of feelings, feeling out side of my usual self in recovery and I don’t know if I should work on this daily like I am trying to do or take my time… I am willing to do my step work but I have a part of me that says to myself “ I don’t want to fucking do this” and I’m writing it down in my step work when that thought comes up. I am worried if I don’t stay on this I will relapse. I have been getting cravings and realizing I need to up my meetings and how much I am willing to put into my recovery. I just want to know other peoples experience on working this step and any advice is welcome. Thank you.
I took several weeks to do step 4. I needed some time to think, remember, order my thoughts. It is natural to not to want to face unpleasant memories. I think it is great you recognise that. I didn’t work on it everyday, but certainly you could put aside a short time each day to work on it. However, I didn’t want it to turn into months, and as with all the steps, you do ‘to the best of your ability’ so at a point where I felt I had done pretty well, I presented it to my sponsor. I didn’t want my wanting to do it ‘perfectly’ to stop me moving forward.
How is your sponsor having you do your 4th step? My first sponsor had me do a grid and helped me with setting up the headings and also helped with going through it and filling it in. My second sponsor used something called the Big Book Awakening and it was a really thorough way of going thru the inventory. There were forms that I filled in. I will link them here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1A36P1mzr9geBEWWrBpJrsi1tkSe3KiKM/view?usp=sharing
The examples were really helpful for me when I got stuck. It’s a lot of work. I had weekly meetings with my sponsor when I was going though it.
Thanks for the thread. Im currently “stuck” on my 4th step. I even bought the Hazelton guidebook. I feel like my lists should be longer, like im missing something. Ive definitely had to up my meetings to balance out the negative feelings its brought up. My sponsor told me not to worry about perfection and you have the 10th step to revisit. Im going camping in 2 weeks and will have time on my hands to ponder…
I got some books and stuff for that dreaded 4th step. I’m determined to get to it. Might have to wait until I get back to Flagstaff. I booked marked this thread
@Jftself Tony started. I haven’t check it out yet but thought I’d mention it. And read through his thread later when I get started.
Good for you but definitely enjoy your camping time. Step four can present challenges to some trying to stay sober. I purposely didn’t work the steps and haven’t, though I do step 1-3 daily, since I got sober March 2021. I may be ready at some point, but I’ve had a therapist that has worked with me for awhile to process some of the hard crap.
Remember step 4, like the rest of them, is part of a cycle that may never be completely finished.
In time, you may start another cycle.
So don’t worry too much about it being complete or not. I’m 3 years clean now and at step 4 again, finally ready to get to the next bits and pieces.
And don’t worry about relapsing over not having a complete step 4. It never is complete 
But dó make sure you include the parts you don’t want to think, talk or share about. Those are the important ones. Those are the ones still eating on you…
Thats what your sponsors for ,ive taken many guys through the steps and if your sponsor isnt doing the work with you id get another one , big book page 64 to 71 wish you well
Thanks for the reply. My sponsor is just having me write in a notebook my answers to the NA step book working guide. I have to pray to my HP to help me be honest, searching and thorough and get my HP help while doing it but she didn’t say there was any right or wrong way… just answer the questions honestly and anything that comes in your mind or thoughts write it all down.
Thank you! Good insight 
I definitely have perfectionist qualities and tendencies.
Thank you!
Ahh that 4th step…lol the first step that requires actual WORK/effort….I agree, previous posts, you’re sponsor should be working with you. My suggestion, approach it as if you were eating an elephant, one bite at a time. No need to dig 4th grade resentments…that will come. Start with resentments that are throwing you off center now/recently. Peel the layers until you get to core. You have access to the 4th step grid, who the resentment is toward, why? What happened? How did this affect you? What did this affect? Your Self esteem? Relationships? Pocket book? Intimate relationships? What part did you play? Where were you self seeking? Dishonest? Selfish? Self centered? Delusional? Then you write prayer towards person you have resentment toward…can be rough, I know…finally, the last column, big book says what would god have me do? I write what god would have me BE? The purpose of this portion of step 4 is to make you aware of your fears and take responsibility for the part you played…hope this was helpful 
Thank you!!! Very helpful information
Thank you ! Good information and suggestion.