Been addicted to porn for 20 something years, last week I hit 3 weeks, was feeling so strong, then I relapsed out of nowhere, starting to think this is impossible. Anybody else out there who has the same issue?
Thanks
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Hi Roy, I’m Kevin.
I’ve struggled with porn all my life. I’m 50 now. Anyways, welcome. There are number of us here on this forum dealing with the same issue.
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Hi Kevin.
How long have you been trying to quit and how are you finding it?
I’ve been trying to quit for 2 years.
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Hey Roy - just remember you’re not on your own. Porn is the invisible drug that is highly addictive. I myself am on a streak of 73 days.
I applaud you for taking the first step: recognising the problem and reaching out!
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Hello!
That’s amazing you’ve reached that many days.
I hope I hit that and beyond. Feeling strong 
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I struggle with porn. It is like many other drugs and behaviours, an empty distraction that leaves you hollow. I have decided I don’t want it in my life.
There are many of us here. If you search “porn”, “PMO” and other similar terms in the search bar you’ll find lots of threads.
Welcome!
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I’ve been working on this for a very long time. I’ve relapsed a lot. And with each relapse, God has been showing me something new.
It’s good that you’ve been working hard in quitting. Porn has no value. It’s a lie. Never give up.
As for me, I’m done. I’m done with porn. I don’t want it and I don’t use it. Why? Because my subconscious finally understands that porn has the same value as a piece of moldy bread. It has no value. So I don’t want it. And when I refer to porn, I don’t mean just looking up XXX sites on the web. I’m done with it all. From masturbation, to checking out girls on the street, to having pornographic fantasies. Any type of two-dimensional act or thought focusing on the sex organs and/or orgasm deviod of love, intimacy, trust, emotional connection is porn in my book. It doesn’t matter, it all leads me to the hamster wheel of addiction.
And this euphoric feeling that I was getting when I was acting out, this feeling that nothing was better in the world than porn, was a lie. All I was getting was a sense of relief from the cravings, the irritability, the moodiness, the anger, the feeling I was missing out in between sessions. Last year, I white knuckled for 293 days until I acted out, which my body was tricked into thinking it was getting the best experience of my life. Through all of my years in recovery, the most I ever accomplished was to slow myself down. I never got off the hamster wheel to see the pitiful existence I was living despite how long I was abstaining in between sessions.
Non users intrinsically understand that porn has no value. So they don’t use it, want it, or crave it. It doesn’t matter if moldy bread is all around me, or someone holds it up to my lips. I don’t want it. I’m done.
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I have done this, but, there is one thing I cannot block. The Reddit app, it has everything on there. I just download it and relapse. I want to block the app but there’s no way. I need to self diciplin myself. I feel im going to relapse every day.
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What else have you tried? Are you in a support group?
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We missed you, Andre.
Thanks for returning.
I’m happy that you are celebrating almost 1 year. Thank you for the kind wishes.
I’m 50 years old now. And I’ve discovered that I’ve been trapped in the porn hamster wheel for at least 47 of those years. And all I managed to do is, at best, stop running for awhile or slow down. I’m off the wheel. My subconscious no longer thinks that I’m depriving myself of porn. Instead, it understands that porn deprived me.
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This is absolutely 100% correct.
Until I’m ready to demonstrate complete custody of my eyes and mind, the hamster wheel of porn is my only destiny.
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Thanks for that. What you said about mouldy bread was really powerful. I’m starting to actually regard porn as something less than, not enough, as you said, hollow.
I really liked what you said about thinking about whether things contain love, intimacy, trust etc.
It’s a great way to try and train my mind over time and get a perspective on whether porn is even worth it in the end.
I think we all know on the surface its not, but your words are something I will take with me in an attempt to disrupt urges, cravings, bargaining and minimising in the moment.
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