I’m almost a year sober, sobriety date is 11/18/24. I just had my dui conviction on October 17th. I have completed my requirements. But even with all of this I just feel like my life will never go back to some what normalcy again. I don’t know how much more I have to prove I never want to drink agin that the night of my dui terrified me remembering some of what happened and not. I still don’t know how I drove about 5 miles and didn’t hurt or kill anyone I thank god every day for that. But now that it’s done I’m still feeling lost or like an out cast it’s hard to explain. The reason I got so drunk to begin with was I lost my mom and mother in law and it was the holidays and it hit me neither of them are here to celebrate the holidays with or get motherly advice. Any advice on how to recover from the after math of getting a dui? I’m trying to stay strong and do and pay fees and requirements but I just feel like it’s never going to end cause the legal system takes for ever. I just want to fully be happy again and to add I feel like I’m looked at like a horrible person and can’t forgive myself over the guilt of this. How do I move on?
I don’t have a DUI, but I have drove drunk and not remembered a thing. Woke up to the dinging of my ajar door, car on the front lawn, front door wide open. It is a horrific feeling knowing that it can happen, but also can with and without repercussions. I was in the middle of a separation with Two young children.
pain can bring out the worst situations.
I feel like the judicial system intentionally takes its time when following through and ending the dreadful process paying your dues. Most people don’t respond the same way you have, they are generally repeat offenders. If the process went quickly no one would learn from it and change.
You happen to be the small % who reacts the way the system wants you to. Unfortunately, they make it pretty cut and dry despite good intention.
I know that’s not a solution to the situation, I’m more trying to shine the light on the fact you care. Everything comes to pass on its own timeline, just remember you are doing your best, and no one’s opinions matter but your own.
No one’s perfect, everyone- messes up, whether they get caught or not.
surround yourself with the people who bring you up and keep growing.
You might want to take a look at the program of AA. It is specifically designed to help us reconcile with the “tormenting ghosts of yesterday”. We can face our behavior, accept that it happened, make our amends to society and family and lawyers and insurance companies etc, and then use our experiences to comfort and help others.
I have 5 DUI convictions. Due to the number and severity, the last two are felonies in my state. I served a 3 year sentence, mostly on house arrest and then on parole. As a convicted felon, I have some restrictions, I cannot possess a firearm (not that I want to, but I am restricted from it), and travel to certain countries is not possible. I did go through the application process with the Canadian immigration system to be “declared rehabilitated” so that I can travel freely to Canada. I have a letter that I have to show at the border, a letter that attests I am officially all better now, not a criminal or an addict.
My driver’s license was revoked for life. My state gives one opportunity to have that reinstated, and it involves proving your sobriety for 3 years or more, getting character references, interviews by the state police with neighbors and shop owners, and a demonstrated commitment to sobriety. And money, of course it costs.
The program of AA gave me the tools to get and stay sober. It gave me the changed thoughts and emotional reactions that allow me to share that I am ashamed of my drunken decisions, and proud of my sober recovery from them. I am easy in my mind now. And you can be, too. Check out AA in your area, or maybe just read some of the books available for free online at AA.org.
As you approach your year, you can know that you have lived through all the holidays and happenings of a year. Blessing on your house as you pass over that milestone.
Hey, I didn’t get a DUI but just want to say that reading your post left me very impressed. I know that I have struggled with my addiction (disclaimer: that is porn, not alcohol) on days that felt hard the most. The fact that you have maintained sobriety through the judicial process though, is so impressive and something to be proud of in my opinion. For real, I’ve fallen back for less in the past and here you are, sober after all this! You rock!
I know people working in court and I think something to keep in mind is that they might not mean a lot of the things in a mean way. The judicial system is simply very dry (in a not-emotional kind of sense) and most of all: it’s very slow. They aren’t taking time because they want you to feel bad, it’s just a slow system.
You’ve gotten though a lot and I’m sure you’ll get through this! I’m proud of you and so should you be
I have been doing aa meetings I have done at least 50 of them by now but they don’t seem to be helping this disgusting feeling I have in my gut every day. I feel like I need some kind of closure to this mess.
I got a dui. Still vividly remember my night in jail. Boy was i convinced my life was over and i was making lots of promises to god to go sober if this doesnt ruin my career. Next day debating hitting a tequila tasting. I continued to drink and it got progessively worse. Dui has come up in a few job interviews. But the shame, guilt, and expense is behind me.
Thankfully with the help of AA and this community im nearly 3.5yr sober
Its rough but you can get thru. What happened in court?
But now I have to deal with a separate court with the state board of pharmacy to see if I’m going to lose my license and career and have to do more waiting til December and do extra for them. I’m just getting tired and drained and trying to figure out what else to to with my life cause I’m being to feel- Is it worth it to keep fighting to get my dignity back you know
There are AA meetings, and then there is the AA program. We read it at every meeting, the 12 steps that are suggested as a “program of recovery”. If you want to, you can find a sponsor to help you work through the steps. I spent 18 years going in and out of AA, and never made much of an attempt to work through the steps. When I got desperate enough, and willing enough, I decided to go back to AA and do what they suggested. I got a sponsor at my second meeting and started there.
The real turning point for me was doing the fifth step, when I took my inventory list and read it out to my sponsor. After it was over, including that one secret I did not write down but was eating my lunch, then I felt like a “real member” of AA, and I felt a lightness. It was as if I had been carrying two big buckets of water, and was spilling something out with every step, and the 5th step was my act of pouring out the buckets on the ground. I did not need to carry those old wounds and hurts around any more.
If you want to feel better, you can follow the well worn path that all the pilgrims of AA have walked before us. It has worked for millions of people, it has worked for me, and it can work for you.
I have 3 dwi’s. First one I was 17 I remember it a little but certainly didn’t learn from it. Lost my license a year and felt similar but just kept drinking and partying. My second dwi i believe I was like 20, had to do a bunch of stuff,lost my license for a year again and attended treatment for that year, again didn’t learn anything blamed it on cops and anyone but me. 3rd dwi I was like 22 or 23, flew past cops hammered on a double yellow line, again they were the problem not me. Refused everything, got a lawyer payed thousands and thousands to try and win my case, which I was winning but addiction just kept taking over and I was becoming broke sniffing cocaine like crazy. My lawyer wanted another 5,000 to go to trial which I didn’t have. So I got nailed after two years of being able to drive I was now permanently revoked from getting a license. I’ve been without it now for 12 years or so, it definitely sucks. Even after that I didn’t get sober. Life sucked for sure, I tried attempting suicide a couple times and just didn’t know what to do with myself, I always felt lost and just kept trying to escape myself with drugs and alcohol. Right now I’m coming up on two years sober and still I hate I don’t have a license it certainly can limit you, but this is life on life’s terms i can only keep pushing forward and just do the next right thing. I will say I got sober when I was 29, stayed sober for 15 months and baught myself a Harley anyways. Well I relapsed, and even after all the shit, drove drunk on my Harley. Alcohol sucks. Congratulations on one year sober
I’ve had a dui. Thankfully, I got into the ARD program which meant if I followed all the rules, the dui would go away after so many years and not show up on a background check. I had to go to safe driving school, counseling, AA meetings and pay a lot of fines. My license was suspended for 2 months, which wasn’t horrible. I was on probation for a year, I think. I followed all the rules, did everything I was supposed to, except stop drinking. I continued to drink, but learned to hide it. I wish I had taken the opportunity I was given and paid for seriously and saved myself another 6 years of misery. The only good thing is I scared myself enough that I did not drink and drive anymore. What bothers me more than the dui is other legal trouble I got into which is the reason I had to drop out of nursing school. I wanted to be a nurse so badly, but apparently not as badly as I wanted to drink. It’s been 25 years, but I still regret it. I’ve been clean and sober for five years, have a great job and family, so everything worked out. I just wish I had made better choices. My suggestion to anyone in this kind of situation is to take advantage of the help and opportunity that is available to you. It’s never too late to turn your life around
I got a DUI back in 2014. Surprised I didn’t get multiple since because I never learned my lesson. Just keep doing what you have to do to pay the fines and do all the crap. It took me a couple years (monthly payments, lowest amount they’d accept) to pay off the fines. I had it expungedfrom my record in 2019 so its like it never happened now. Just keep pushing through, the stuff is more annoying than anything, but you’ll get through it.
I’ve never been on your shoes, I hope it gets easier with time although it’s going to be tough and raw going through all the legal admin. Have you thought of looking up some mediation aimed at self forgiveness or loving yourself
Ah yes the DUI…. I had my d u I in february of 2024. It was my first one.So luckily, they didn’t put me in jail.They gave me a ride home. But my car was impounded, and I lost my license for ninety days and I wasn’t allowed to get my vehicle out for thirty days. So you can imagine that I had a big bill to pay. After the ninety days, I was able to reinstate my license and get it back. Of course, I immediately started going to a a again and quit drinking and really started working on myself. I felt horrible.I felt lower than low. It was almost a year later to the date where they required me to complete the r d p course and that was another twelve hundred dollars I had to pay out of my pocket. But I was lucky because some people that I took the r d p course were thousands and thousands of dollars in debtBecause of the DUI… losing their jobs all because they chose to drive. And for a long time, after the course I didn’t drink.But then I started slipping and having drinks, and once again, I found myself getting behind the wheel thinking that, oh, i’m okay to drive. What a stupid thing to think. The guilt afterwards was horrendous. At this point, i’m just over two weeks since my last slip.Thankfully, though I didn’t get behind the wheel or anything.I stayed in. But I do know that if I get caught, I’ll lose my license for over a year.And that would completely ruin the job that I have, that makes good money, which means I would lose my house.I would lose my car.I would lose everything all for a drink.
My biggest thing is I want to get over the guilt and hatred I have for myself and forgive myself but don’t know how? I don’t know why I’m so hard on myself especially when no one was hurt thank god
For me, it was staying sober and making positive changes in my life. Yes, the shame and regret for things I did in the past is still there, but I try to focus on moving forward and being a better person today.
as you pass over that milestone.