Whole my life I have big troubles to communicate with my mother. Whenever I try to make some fine conversation, she’s the most of time in bad mood and when I’m in bad mood I hear from her only hating to me, not support. I’m not saying she wasn’t here with me, she was in some events of my life, which were a lot important, but she’s very rarely in these events.
From childhood I more associated as a mother my grandma (I lived as a small kid with my grandma in my motherland).
When I already started to live in a country which I live now I more talked and had deep relationship with my father, so in some way I as well associated him as my mother. My childhood with my mother was hard - physical and mental abuse, conflicts and argues every day, saving my mother from her own relapses and seeing how she left sometimes our house for few days.
These things a lot affected my addictions and metal health and most of them are made by my mother.
Now when I’m young adult I know she has bordeline personality disorder, binge eating disorder and posttraumatic stress disorder. Doctors are thinking my mother has possibly as well bipolar disorder, but from my view I think she doesn’t have it and these severe mood swings are way more affected by her personality disorder.
Even now I try to make with her better relationship, but it seems she doesn’t want, or at least I feel like that. I’m feeling like my childhood is again repeating.
I don’t know what to genuinely do, so I’m asking you all. What would you do? Does have it someone similar like me?
Thank you a lot. 
Sorry you went through that. Maybe distancing yourself is for the best.
My main issue growing up was with my biological father. He seemed to resent me because I didn’t live up to his vision of what he wanted in a son. He forced me to play baseball when I hated baseball. I was bad at it and he was a coach. Whenever I did somethin that sucked on the field, he’d get a look of disgust on his face, yell at me in front of everyone there, and wouldn’t even speak to me on the way home. He’d throw temper tantrums, punch holes in walls, and was just unpleasant to be around. The best thing he did was move 3500 miles away.
I’ve learned in life that blood relatives aren’t always the best people to be around. Sometimes friends, acquaintances, or perfect strangers are more healthy company.
It seems like you genuinely want a good relationship but are hit with obstacles. To me it sounds like you are more the adult and because of her mental health condition she is more like the child. If it hurts you to be around her, by her behavior, then please do not stay long.
On the other hand, she is your mother and there is nothing wrong with being kind to her and accepting her the way she is.
Again, let it not make you feel like the child, but more like the adult.
Accept her as you can and go forward without trying to get explanations or into discussions about what went wrong in the past. That is done.
Just try to concentrate on the present which is where you are now.
It sounds like you are indeed trying to do your part but because of her problems it is harder for her and she ends up making you feel like “the child”.
In your mind assert yourself as the more stable, more adult one.
I sometimes hear that blood family is everything, but… I think it’s not that true. Anyone can be my real family, no matter if it will be my close friend or my two dogs or my partner.
And I’m so sorry for your story. You didn’t deserve that. 
Thank you a lot.
I had issues with my mother similar when she was alive. after I had my daughter things got worse.she would mean things about me to 9 month old in a joking manner (you can image what type ot mom she was)
when I confronted her about it.Demanded that she stop it. I asked her “why are you so mean? it’s sick”
she said “I dont know any other way”
then it ht me. she was just plain old incapable of being the type of mom i think i want. I kept my distance after that.
maybe your mom doesn’t know any other way.
she may not ever change. …ask yourself whats the best way YOU can keep yourself safe.