I have gone through my very long list of my friends and family i needed to make amends with and address my past selfish behaviors and hurtful words and actions. Most have accepted it, some never knew I drank they just thought I was a bitch and well that part is true sober too.
I have one person that i have not asked for forgiveness from. There is nothing I can say, nothing I can do and no way to forgive myself. I love her with all my heart, she was always there for me and my children.
My friend Suzanne died from addiction, she was very good at hiding it, but then signs would pop up like a small wine bottle in her purse, being hit as hell in a house that was 65 degrees, seeing multiple doctors. Smelling like a bottle of titos.
I saw it I knew something was up and I did nothing at all she will never forgive me and I don’t go a day without thinking what I should have done how I could have done it.
welcome to the community
Its sad when we think of friends we have lost to addiction, one recently and i too think of her all the time.
I am so gratefull for my life im so gratefull that today i am sober.
Im glad you found us here where there is so much support
Have u ever thought of maybe a letter to her? There are many ways to connect to those that are no longer here. I used to write letters… no one ever sees then usually. And sometimes I burn them. Letter to those who have passed, letters to my addiction, letters to my inner child etc. They are quite powerful
Honor your friend’s memory by living your best sober life. Live the type of life she would have, has she not been consumed by her addiction. Every sober milestone you celebrate, do it for the both of you.
How sad. But u cannot blame yourself. Everyone’s sober path is theirs to walk or not walk. And the past cannot be altered. I am sure u have heard of living amends. Do ur best to help those who still suffer now.
It’s a painful acceptance to face the loss of a close friend, also suffering from the same thing we all do addiction,
I used to be a medic, and I think my first year was the hardest, if I would have someone not make it I took it out on myself a lot, like what if I could have done more, maybe my skills weren’t enough my effort was weak and they needed more. I learned to accept that I wasn’t in control I did my best but it was already decided
Wjen I first got sober, I had close friends relapse. And it wrecked me I didn’t do enough I wasn’t there enough I could have stopped them. And I took it personally as well.
But I learned that while I can help or do my part, I can only be in control of me, no one else.
As far as asking for forgiveness to those you cannot reach, it’s a matter of how you choose to do it, journal, write them a letter, meditate and focus, you know your intentions put it out to the universe it will find its way to them
