Thank you Eric, I’m gonna give it a chance. Also that podcast you recommend, when I will feel better and start running again (it’s my listening podcasts time🙂), I’m gonna listen to it.
It’s 9pm here, kids sleeping, I think I’m gonna sleep as well. Absolutely don’t have appetite to go downstairs and listen to his “wise” coke monologues. Every time the same
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The Mental Illness Happy Hour has been followed and I’ll tune in within the few days. Thank you.
The relationship with my husband has always been easy up to this point. He drank, I drank, we had fun and nothing too heavy got felt. True feelings are new for me and have me wondering if I am actually capable of love where I am. I can’t change him, I can only improve myself. Thanks again. 🩷🩶
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Oooh I feel this for you and I’m sorry. My back patting and “wow that is fascinating!” days are also over. Sending hugs.
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That’s the one 
It would help if I spelled the link correctly 
I fixed the link up there.
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I’ll start at the very beginning. That’s a very good place to start. 
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Ok julie andrews 
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Ha! I knew you would get it!
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Wow he made it to Saturday night so that he can drink! And drink he does. I thought he drained the bottle today, but must have snuck out to buy more while I was running errands. Tomorrow I leave to go to Ohio to visit family, he promised to stay sober while I am gone. Don’t bet on it.
I worry because he is diabetic, he has diabetic neuropathy, so he can’t feel his feet very much. When he is drunk he falls down a lot and I won’t be here to pick him up. I did get him Life Alert, but if he doesn’t wear it, like he never does, but promises he will. Fat chance. All these things run through my head and make me want to not go. But is that fair to me? Don’t I deserve to see my family? He doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t like my family. So should I stay home.
OMG this is driving me nuts. Should I stay or should I go?
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I would do what’s best for my sanity, serenity, and sobriety.
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My sister was in a similar circumstance with her late husband. She always said to not let their choices control your life. Do the things you want to do and if they want to be a part of it great, but if not, you are allowed to have your life. I always remember that, but still it’s hard because of his health issues.
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Emilie…that does suck. Because alcohol sucks!! Such a challenge to be in a relationship with someone still drinking. Been there. When someone is drunk there is no honesty in the relationship. I’m happy to hear you are still sober. You are strong! Thank you for sharing.
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Go and visit your family, make happy memories and leave his struggles to him. You are not his nurse, his doormat or his lifecoach. You are only responsible for yourself. And for heaven’s sake ENJOY YOUR TRIP! 
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I am doing just that! He has to make his own choices and I can’t let him control my life!
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I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I love him so much. I am in early recovery and he is still using. I haven’t heard from him in awhile. And I can’t go out looking for him like I used to. I do not want to use. How long do I wait? I feel like I’m grieving him and the life I thought we would have together. I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to move on. I search arrest logs everyday. I used to call morgues and hospitals. I know he is on the street and in really bad shape. I am emotional over the whole thing. I feel like I owe him my loyalty and love. We didn’t break up, he’s just in the grip of active addiction. I pray and keep focused on myself but I can’t help but feel sadness that he is not on this journey with me.
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That is heartbreaking @FreeingFalkor
I’m sorry you bf is so lost in his addiction.
Are you still clean? I remember you checking in once before I think in October.
It’s a very hard and painful situation you are in. I wish I could tell you what to do. I’ve been so saddened that my wife won’t join me on my sober journey. We been married for 40 years. The last almost 4 years of my sobriety has been very difficult living with her. It’s grief. It really is a grieving process. There is no proper amount of time to grieve. And I see other people in my Al-Anon meetings going through divorce and separations and still others hanging on focusing on ourselves. I have to take care of myself. And I have to protect my sobriety at all cost. If my wife drinks now she knows I’m leaving after her second drink. It’s too painful for me to see what happens to her if she has more that 2. I won’t leave for good. But I will get on a plane and visit my children for support if she starts up with the drinking again.
Have you tried any Al-Anon meetings? They’ve saved my life. I’m not the only double winner in Al-Anon. There’s many of us working 2 programs.
I hope sharing your pain here makes it just little more bearable.
Stay strong in your recovery. Keep the focus on you. Just like you’re doing.
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Thank you for this. I am still clean. I am really happy with my recovery. I feel a level of guilt, almost as if I left him behind. I want to support him, buti don’t know how to offer support without being dragged back into active addiction. I know I can’t recover for him. He’s using fentanyl every day and he is just withering away on the street. I’m afraid he won’t make it much longer. That weighs heavily on my heart. I said NO the last time he begged me to see him, and now I wonder if that was my last chance.
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I cannot imagine that kind of pain. And we know how deadly fentanyl is. Shit. I’m so sorry. I’m sure it weighs heavily on your heart. It’s such and impossible situation you are in. It sounds like you are doing everything right for you. I know that feeling if guilt all too well in my case. If I just didn’t stop drinking we would be in this situation. But we didn’t cause it. We can’t control it. And we cannot cure it. I don’t feel guilty for taking care of myself and living life on life’s terms. No I don’t! And you know you cannot save him. It’s just so fucking hard. Maintain your course. Pray. Pray real hard for a miracle. I’ll pray too.
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Thank you so much. Truly. No one in my life understands, which is why I am so grateful for the rooms and for this site, and everyone hear. I will keep praying and trying to lead by example and just have faith that he will find his own way to recovery. It has been so beautiful for me. I can feel myself healing.
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