Thanks for the kind words of support and sharing your story. It really does give me so much hope 
here’s to sobriety, new beginnings, no longer repeating the past, to enjoying the present and working towards a future we dream of.
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Thanks so much for your words of encouragement
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@SassyRocks and @Pattycake thanks so much for the positivity xo hope you guys are doing well in your recovery
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Thanks I took your advice and went for a walk! It definitely helped 
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I used to work in a bar so I know exactly what you mean and I am learning to accept that what works for me doesn’t work for everyone and like you said that’s okay!! Thanks for opening up. I actually give you so much credit that you practice sobriety in an environment that could be triggering. It was definitely something I struggled with but I think when you truly make the decision alcohol isn’t for you then it is easier to be around and is a clear testament to YOUR courage and strength. Hoping you had a good day in recovery. Your msg def helped keep me on the right track so just wanted to say thanks again
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Thanks for sharing your best-of-toolbox, 1000% helped!! Being kind to yourself helps to spread more kindness into the universe and let’s be real this world needs all the kindness it can get 
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Thanks for the warm welcome back. This is a family I am truly proud to be part of. I so relate to your post. Poor coping and decision making skills couldn’t be more accurate and I am understanding more the behaviours and reasons behind this and it is giving me the power to stop repeating the same path of destruction. I will be committing to my recovery whole heartedly this time and I know there will be bumps but I’m here for the long haul. Your kindness and support definitely helped lift me up when I felt like giving up was the only solution and made me realize it’s so much healthier to focus my energy on what I can actually change, which is more then I thought
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I’m so happy for you @JP123 and that is so right. There is so much of this world that is out of our control and we’re only wasting our energy by thinking we can. It’s so much healthier to focus on those things that we do have in our control 
You got this!
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Glad you reached out to this place, there’s so much love and support here it’s literally a family in your pocket!
I have dealt with depression for a long time now. It started in college in engineering school and ROTC for the Air Force. I had a scholarship and it was a ton of pressure like you said. Everything was a competition. I nearly quit school so many times but managed to push through that part of my life. I got my first assignment…Fairbanks, Alaska. Now, everyone talks about how they’d love to go to Alaska but most people don’t really know how tough it can be especially when you’re a single 23 year old male. The first year went okay. But it quickly went downhill. I was in great shape I was doing fine at work but everyday I went home alone and drank. Everyone who promised they would visit, never did from back home on the east coast. I literally felt like I was in a prison cell when I came home at night. To top it off it was and still probably is the highest suicide rates base in the military. Seven times in my three years we all were called in for another person gone. I myself was sitting at home just like you described thinking I could just take myself out of my misery. I prayed a lot and I really was having a hard time with my faith and spiritual life which is a big part of my life.
Eventually the anxiety and depression got so bad I was slated to go overseas for training and I physically couldn’t read the orders on the paper on my desk. I finally picked up the phone and called the only person who had ever just treated me as a person. She dropped what she was doing and drove over and took me to the mental health office. I started counseling and anti depressants and despite the difficulties I managed to survive a deployment and the rest of that assignment. Of course I was drinking still while on the meds which basically put me somewhere in the middle of the road of moods everyday. I slept around a lot and basically did whatever I could do to get by.
I hear what you are saying about the world and people. As a veteran I look at it everyday and just wonder why I went through all that and served to watch people in my own country treat each other so terribly every single day. It could easily take me back to the depressed state and some days I do come home and find myself in a sad or depressed place now and then. But it’s a battle.
You are so much stronger than you think and your life is valuable despite the people and the world around you. Don’t let the bastards get you down. I don’t even know you personally but as someone who has been around suicide too many times in my life, 8 plus 1 failed attempt I helped stop, please know you are loved and your life means something to me even if I don’t know you.
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