So I deleted the ap about a month ago because I was sick and tired of hitting the reset button. But life rapidly spiralled out of control. I’ve been drinking heavily, wasting money, gambling and general degenerative behaviour. My partner is at her wits end with me and I’m so scarred I’ll lose her. I’m back again, ready to fight, ready to take my life back. It helped before being here, so here’s to it helping again.
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You can do this @Dailystruggle but as your identifier suggests, it’s a daily struggle as you know and certainly in our early days. I am still early on and doing this for the first time after two decades ‘on the job’. But mercifully, we only live one day at any given time and as you are showing, we also get a chance every day to have a ‘do over’ and make today count. Lovely to see you back.
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Thanks for your kind words. I really want to stay sober, that’s the difference this time. I want to stay sober for me, not anyone else.
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I believe in you and I have every faith in you 
I’m glad you’re back and trying again, and doing what helped before.
Motivation is a great resource to have, what are you going to put it to work doing?
What you were doing before to stay sober, there’s one of two possibilities: (a) it didn’t work, or (b) it worked but you stopped doing it. If (a) it didn’t work, then you need to try something different. If (b) you stopped doing it, you need to find something that makes you stop stopping your recovery.
I checked both boxes, what I was doing wasn’t working, and I also wasn’t sticking to it either. I don’t know what your best fit is, but I’ll share mine.
- The first thing that started working for me is hard to explain. It wasn’t a particular thing like AA, counselling, or treatment/rehab, but those things were the tools I had to use to get there in my case. It had to do with accepting “never again” and waging all-out war uprooting any thoughts that challenged or tried to put conditions or excuses onto it. Basically the AA step 1. The mindset works, whether you formally do AA or not, but it doesn’t happen just by thinking it.
- What helped me the most to stop stopping my recovery was committing myself to regular honesty with others. Commitment being the operative word there. I’ve been part of community and I’ve been honest, but I hadn’t made that a commitment and core priority. I use the community here, my family, and AA for that. People will know if I mess up, sure, but they’ll also know if I start slacking or if I’m having a hard time, and this part acts as a safeguard in case I start drifting without realizing it.
Anyways, that’s me. It’s just meant to get you to think about what your recovery should do for you, not get you to pick any particular flavour of it.
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Thanks so much for your insightful message. I got a lot out of it. One big thing for me is accountability. I need to think about what the consequences will be if I drink, and just not pick up that damn drink. Last time my heart wasn’t really in it. This time it has to be, and it is. One day at a time, that’s all I have to remember, and think that every day.
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Welcome back! I hope to see you around often. It helps me to be here every day and check in sober.
You have a lot to fight for 
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I will. I’ll stay here and stick to it!
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You can do it. I will add a couple things.
The only thing that can make me drink is me. No matter what the situation or no matter who did what, its my choice. Nobody can make me drink its just an excuse.
If i get an urge i think about the next day. How bad will i feel that I drank? Not physically but mentally and emotionally. I will have let myself and everyone counting on me down.
I hope this helps. You are a winner!
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Thanks, you’re totally right, I make excuses. Had a bad day at work, drink, have an argument with my other half, drink.
I’m going to give it my all this time.
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What are you going to do differently this time? Coming back is awesome but I think this time you need more, extra support on the outside, when I finally got sober i had to change my whole lifestyle, routines and thinking
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That’s exactly right. I’ve got a plan for today. It’s 6:05am here today and my plan is to go to work today, and as soon as I’m done I’m going to exercise with my partner and cook myself a nice meal. It’s generally the window from 6-9pm where I struggle, if I get through that then I’m generally ok. But yes extra support needed for sure. I’m looking into group councilling sessions and also looking at getting back into personal training and tennis to keep myself busy and get my health and fitness back also. I’m also going to keep a journal, that helped me last time, then when I stopped doing those things that’s when I spiralled out of control again.
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Coming back here is good step in the right direction. I feel your pain by the way. I was none stop binge drinking for the last 10 years plus and yes I gambled usually when I was hung over. The first few weeks as you know will be hard to get through, your partner will support you through this. All you need to do is be honest and talk about what and how you are feeling. My first 3 weeks were difficult but got better with each day. Focus on the positives, learn about the positives and learn about the negatives. Keep checking in on here, read some heart felt posts of other peoples milestones. It gave me inspration and good influence to stay sober. I am on 33 days and let me tell you how things are changing for the better. I sleep way better, I eat way better, I am more patient, my relationships are better, I stick to plans more than ever, I no longer throw things across the kitchen in a bad mood, my mood is much better, I have more confidence, I have better energy, I have better health and my anxiety has gone from 10 to 1. All this in 33 days. My skin on my face is healing, it used to have crusty red patch.
Your life will improve, just give your self that chance.
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Sounds like a solid good start, can’t wait to hear about your progress
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I am in the right boat as u. I find myself continually resetting the calendar and try doing it again. I continually fail. But I so want to be alcohol free. I don’t want to be dependent on it anymore. I just have a strong craving that over powers me. Today I have given myself a challenge to win this. To become alcohol free. I pray each day that I will win this challenge. I reminded myself that I can do this. Thank u for sharing this and reminding me that I’m not alone in this struggle
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Right back with you!
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Not too bad. It’s a long hard road, I go a hand full of days, then reset because I’ve had a bad day or I just feel like it. It’s hard. I’ve cut down heaps. I just want to increase the sober days until there are no more resets.
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I totally believe that if you want to stop if your sick of it then you will stop. You wont pick up again aslong as you just dont pick up. Its not easy we spent years learning our brain that this is the quick fix to everything. Years building pathways in our brain that we keep walking down because they are well worn and well traveld. We need to let them paths over grow and walk new sober paths it can take time but it can be done. Show youself kindness your body and mind deserves it x
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Your white knuckling it then. Thinking that the more days you go with out a drink the more likely you are to stop!
It’s great to see you back and knowing that you need to sort yourself out. But if you are really determined to do this you need to be more strict with yourself.
How many bad days do you think I’ve had in the last 4 months where I would just love to pickup.
You have to say “no” buddy. And unfortunately yourself is one of the hardest people to say no to.
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