I fell off the bandwagon again and im about to lose my mind. I can’t belive I let it get this bad again.
I feel sick, I can’t get an appointment with a therapist or psychiatrist for another two weeks but I feel like I’m just losing it, I feel like a bad person and I just feel like I’m running out of time.
Like, how many times am I going to do this kind of stuff before it kills me?
I’m scared.
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I understand your scared. I had a nice chunk of clean time and threw it all away. I checked myself into detox and I’m currently 20 days clean! Don’t beat yourself up! You got this 
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You came back, you logged on and reached out, you showed up, you asked for help, you scheduled something with a therapist and you are looking at behaviors that no longer serve you. That is a big deal!!!
Try to be gentle with yourself, this is a journey and a personal one. We all find our way differently. Today is a new day. Glad you are back 
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Don’t beat yourself up too much… I had over 125 days under my belt, and then blew it all away for about another two years !
But there comes a point when you know what to do, and you have to get to it.
Now I’m closing in on nine months…
You can do this, we all can.
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Thank you
It’s hard to not feel hopeless sometimes. People keep giving me second chances and I keep messing it up, it feels like. I wish I could keep my problem more private, but I keep making it everyone else’s buisness 
my husband wasn’t even surprised when I messed up this time. So that hurts
But yeah, one day at a time, as my mom always says. I’m just trying to pull myself out of the dumps. And almost everyone has given me so much grace and kindness that I owe it to them to really give it my all this time!
Congratulations on 9 months! That’s awesome I hope to be able to say that too, one day!
Thank you I think realizing how scared I was has been important. Hopefully I can utilize that fear instead of letting it consume me.
Congratulations on your sober time.
Thats exactly what I’m hoping for. I’ve been frustrated before, but this feels different. I don’t like feeling this way, but I do kind of hope I can hang onto it until I’m ready to let go.
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