Heyyy it’s been awhile since I’ve logged on here but I’ve nowhere else to go. It really sucks being back in early recovery. It feels extremely uncomfortable and lonely. Depressive too of course. Can’t go to any NA meeting around here because of the toxic people I’ve encountered, even a few perverts there. NOT an option at all. If anything it would induce a relapse. I dont feel like doing anything… hate being this miserable shit. Suddenly have to feel everything I’ve been trying so hard not to feel. I’m a high functioning addict. On the surface it seems like my life is in order, my emotions are in check and I’m confident, happy and healthy. What most dont know is that I’m an addict and I struggle with anxiety. The ones who do know don’t do me much good either. In fact some are avoiding me because of my decision to be clean which is fine, I’d rather they do. But it’s really lonely. Its just one of those days. I know I just gotta be patient…
Patience is good… and I can relate to the whole lonely and depressed thing.
But being sober is important for yourself, so don’t bother thinking about those other people with you can do without.
Hi Coco 
Glad you’re back! I don’t know much about meetings, but I know they have some on the forum. Maybe that might help. Sobriety can be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be.
Singapore drug laws suck, please be safe!
So remember this. Write these feelings down. Stick them somewhere so that you can remember what shit you are feeling now.
So much negativity! Don’t want this… can’t do that…
Yep, that’s what it is all about, so not a negative, see it as a positive.
No such thing. That was me, I’ve built things that are still standing, no one I knew suspected anything.
But now, two years later I know better. I know that it’s just the ego talking.
Welcome back, stick around, interact. Make new friends, get sober.
Welcome back!!
Have you tried meetings online?
Yeah thats true just gotta be patient and wait it out
Yes. I’m not going back!!! I’ve got too much to lose this time
Where can I find a safe online meeting?
Thank you Geo for your elaborate reply. You’re absolutely right and I know it. Just gotta sit with this feeling till it passes. It comes and goes in waves. Right now I feel great. Going for a walk, chatting with neighbours.
I use intherooms.com. You can just listen or you can share. The site is really easy to use. There’s also AA meetings on zoom but I don’t have that info. You could probably do a google search or you may find more information on this link: Resources for our recovery
Welcome back! 